Domestic Violence and Social Media

By: Lisa Cook
IG: @broadcasting_beauty

We aren’t strangers to domestic violence being one of the biggest topics in the public eye when celebrities are involved. Domestic Violence is the one topic that can seem to unite America for “show” or “pretend”. America is known to take a strong stance on domestic violence against women when brought to the publics attention. The problem is the fact that nobody really cares that much about domestic violence against women when a celebrity is involved. If the celebrity is highly successful and liked by the public eye, America has been known to take a different stance on the subject or try to portray it in a not so damaging matter. I’m not saying that all celebrities don’t pay the price for their actions because that isn’t the case always. Chris Brown, an American performer was highly criticized for attacking his girlfriend fellow entertainer, “Rihanna”. Chris was able to pay his debt to society and still regain his fan base and the hearts of America. Entertainers, Athletes, and many celebrities have landed in the shameful spotlight for domestic abuse but back then social media wasn’t as efficient to affect the emotions and feelings of outsiders looking in. Today, domestic violence and bad publicity can spread in a few minutes globally. Social media has taken over this society to the point where “America” is only concerned about certain issues while people are watching. The current situation at hand is NFL star “Ray Rice” and his wife Janay being exposed through a elevator video where is show’s Ray knocking his wife on conscious and dragging her lifeless body off the elevator. The NFL had already given Ray a 2 game suspension following the release of the first video which didn’t show Ray hitting his wife but just dragging her off the elevator. Americas suspense is that the NFL commissioner had already seen the video and decided to sweep it under the rug to salvage Ray’s reputation and career. This situation taught me a few things; America cares nothing about Janay Rice the actual victim in this situation, Ray Rice and the NFL’s reputation were the top priorities, and social media can ruin your career in 15 seconds of video footage. I found it so tasteless that TMZ thought it was okay to release this video to the public for “Janay” to have to relive daily and be criticized. It’s also pathetic that the NFL commissioner really valued “Ray Rice” and his reputation over the real issue at hand. The NFL didn’t make the decision based off the fact that Ray Rice hit his wife, they made that decision because America found out. Social media has a major effect on the decisions made in this country in 2014. When will the “REAL” issues at hand really matter again? Social Media has changed this society for the worst but without it would “Janay Rice” had a voice to speak up for herself? Does social media affect America in a positive way or negative in 2014 when it comes to important matters?

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Lost Hearts

“We’ve loved, we’ve lost, we’ve fallen and got back up...and THEN, put ourselves back in harms way AGAIN...such is life.”
-Ambrea

The heart has an interesting set of capabilities. It has the ability
to love freely and without bias. It sees no race, religion, and makes
no distinction between social or economic status. Love is blind...too
blind. In fact sometimes it would do us some good if the heart paid
attention to the warning signs, BUT that would be too much like the
mind. The heart does not think; It simply...feels. Some say that's the
beauty of it.

What do you do when old feelings you had for that special someone
creep back in? Do you bury them, or do you address them? What causes
this? Do they SUDDENLY come back or did they never leave in the first
place? All of these questions come to mind when one finds
themselves feeling some type of way about a past lover. Maybe your
paths crossed after a long period of time or perhaps you two got back
in touch for whatever reason. You've always had a good chemistry and
great conversation...it just worked. Now after exposing yourself to
the inevitable you’re back where you started....falling. Maybe you
didn't have a horrible break up or parting of ways, but things just
didn't work out. Bad timing? Whatever the case everything happens for
a reason.

Don't beat yourself up! We've all been there. Many factors may
contribute to those feelings resurfacing such as loneliness, comfortability
and convenience or even sheer boredom. The biggest of them all is
VULNERABILITY. Another thing about the heart is that it is a master
deceiver (by default of course). It tells your mind that you are in
love when it may be lust or in most cases infatuation, a short lived
phase...BUT back to that vulnerable word. It means that you are
capable, susceptible of easily being hurt or in laymen's terms
emotionally unstable.

If you find yourself in this predicament an important question to ask
yourself is, “am I feeling this way out of vulnerability" or “has
something caused me to become vulnerable at this point in my life?" If
the answer is yes, starting to sort out your feelings and evaluating
them will be the best thing for YOU. If the answer is NO still
evaluate the circumstances and get to the root of those feelings to
determine whether if that “love” was or will be good for you. I know
…. I know its waaayyy easier said than done, but you have to smarter
than you were before, because again, everything happens for a reason!

Now let's be real...sometimes we want so badly to play oblivious to the
facts we know about that “love” and we’re even willing to put it all
on the line just to relish in what used to be.
Love can be a confusing emotion. Not be to "churchy", but God is not
the author of confusion. So think about it like this, if you're like
me and you're at a point in your life where you want love but not just
any ole "love" you'll appreciate this. Look at the way God loves his
children, but more importantly does your "love" mirror His?


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in
evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians
13:4–8 (NIV)


Biblical LOVE is the greatest depiction of what love actually is. Seek
the Lord for it and he will give you the desires of your heart. Be
selective in who or what you allow to enter your heart, it's quite
easy to give away but sometimes very hard to get back. Live your life,
love who you love and love hard, but be good to your heart, its the
ONLY one you have!


"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from
it." Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Google Me Baby

By: Ayana Bryant-Weekes

“Have you ever Googled yourself?”

I was asked that question recently and truth be told, I hadn’t Googled myself since I was a preteen. The last I knew of myself on Google was for a swim meet in Washington DC that I never went to and a mention in my mother’s professional biography as her daughter so I wasn’t abreast to what may have been added to my search results. Well, after I was asked, I typed my name into the Google search box and was mortified. Not the same type of mortified like when I was 13 and only typed my first name into the search box to find that I shared my name with a porn star, but mortified to see that the very first two search results came from my old Ask.fm account (that I forgot I had and is now deactivated).

Fortunately for me nothing I actually said was inappropriate but the questions I answered were off the wall (to keep things PG lets just say I got all the questions people wanted to know based on my “good girl appearance").  I immediately deactivated the account. For me, Ask.fm, The Facebook Honesty Box and the rest of those anonymous question apps were just something to do when I couldn’t sleep at 3am or had, literally, nothing else to do. Always anticipating the type of questions I would get, I was never afraid to answer because I wasn’t hiding anything (I pride myself on being an open book) and I knew to never divulge too much information.  

Unfortunately, though the account is deleted and can’t be accessed, the first two results in my search listings are still from that Ask.fm page and THEN my articles and business information is listed after. It may seem harmless since it was a long time ago but the person who brought it up to me was an employer. That means he actually Googled me. My mind immediately went back to those college and career prep seminars we had to go to in High School. They warned us against the things we participated in on the Internet because they would never go away and true enough; here I am at 22 trying to erase something I don’t even do anymore. 

 The Bible talks about the reputation of a Christ follower in 1 Peter 2:11-12: Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it. Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.  (MSG)

Now, I’m not one to say don’t use social media and other modern sources of entertainment but I do urge discretion. I know several Youth groups that use anonymous pages so that young people can ask tough questions freely, and if you must use these types of pages personally, try not to put your real name in them and be careful of what you say. It’s all about professionalism and it will be a terrible thing to allow a youthful indulgence to hinder your professional life or your Christ-like reputation.

Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ. Let nothing in your conduct hang on whether I come or not. Your conduct must be the same whether I show up to see things for myself or hear of it from a distance. Stand united, singular in vision, contending for people’s trust in the Message, the good news, not flinching or dodging in the slightest before the opposition Philippians 1:27 (MSG)

<3 ABW

Get Over Yourself

By: Ayana Bryant-Weekes

This is one lonesome generation to say the least, one that seems to experience a mass seclusion of sorts. Seems like every day round about the same time, the “I’m up with no one to talk to” social media rants begin. Seems like everyday someone mentions how he or she doesn’t have any friends.  I’m not going to lie; I used to be guilty of the same thing. I can recall getting a text from my best friend after tweeting about not having anyone to talk to because I didn’t have any friends. She was annoyed, and very offended (rightfully so) that I would say something like that and we had spent 10 years being best friends. There was nothing I could really say at the time because she was right. But, the truth was, I was bored and didn’t necessarily feel like asking anyone to entertain me with company. My lonely tweets were sad attempts at getting attention from someone when what I really needed to do was do something productive or go to sleep.

Yes, this is a very lonesome generation but a very passive aggressive one in that aspect. This is a generation that will publicly announce its lack of received attention with the insinuation that someone else should reach out, instead of simply reaching out themselves. This is also the same generation that preaches loyalty to the bone yet brags about their ability to very quickly and without hesitation cut some one off (you all know the song). I am a part of a generation where a group of very good friends can each say, “I don’t have any friends.” 

This generation is frustrating. We want things that we don’t want to ask for out of fear of being bothersome or annoying and then complain about not having what we want. What’s even more baffling is that we all feel that same way about it within the same group circles! I dared myself to stop being that way and started opening myself up to opportunities to get out of the house and spend time with people, which meant not immediately declining an invitation just because I didn’t know everyone that would be in attendance. That meant asking people if they wanted to do something with me and then figuring out what that something was later, even if it meant just chilling at a friend’s house or taking a walk.

I could dwell on the fact that no one would really ask me to go anywhere or do anything but I would also have to acknowledge how much I secluded myself from everybody with my words. How many of my friends felt a certain way about me saying I didn’t have any friends? I’m not sure, but I do know that if someone I considered a friend constantly said they had none, I’d question our friendship… or their sanity. Now that I’ve gotten over my pride and put myself in a position to have things to do, I literally always have something to do.  Between business, church, and various groups of friends, I find myself actually needing to write down what I have planned for the week; which is a good thing I suppose lol.

           

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