Guest Bloggers: Nicole Ballantine of Latitude and Avenue

My Island Heart, A Story of Travel and Identity

By: Nicole Ballentine 

Counter Person: “What do you want?”

Me: “Can I get an oxtail with rice and peas?”

Counter Person: “You want cabbage?”

Me: “Yes and plantain thanks!”

That brief exchange is a typical encounter in a Jamaican restaurant in NYC. Growing up in the United States but being of Jamaican descent, these and other interactions, like speaking with my grandmother and understanding her Patwah, are all reminders that there’s another place on Earth that I consider home.

Jamaica, the homeland of both my mother and father, may not see very me often but has always been with me in spirit. On holidays when my cousins get together and play Ludo, the Jamaican version of the popular board game, when I hear Beres Hammond, a popular old school reggae artist, or watch a Majah Hype video and can relate, I realize the tropical island is still very close at heart although I'm displaced thousand of miles of away.

Even with these experiences I’ve been able to have, I worry whether or not I carry enough of my culture and fear not being able to pass down the same recipes and traditions I grew up with to my own  offspring; especially now since I will be heading to the West Coast in a few weeks to begin the next chapter of my life and will be far away from my family and my Jamaican American community. It won't be as easy to grab a (good) beef patty with coco bread in Los Angeles as it is in Crown Heights BK but I will be able to now tell others of what one is and learn how to create Jamaican dishes and make a Jamaican Ludo board to play with my new found California friends.

When you think about it, that is truly the beauty of travel, being able to share your traditions and beliefs and to create and pass down a culture of your own as you move throughout the Earth. So I’m really not losing my heritage but adding to it as I continue on my journey around the  world.

Nicole Ballantine

Creator, Latitude + Avenue
"for the wanderlust"

Nicole Ballantine is a freelance Lifestyle Editorial Assistant currently living in NYC with sights on California in the upcoming months. After losing her Product development job in August 2014, Nicole was inspired to create the life she always wanted to live and dreamed up Latitude and Avenue, a lifestyle travel website geared towards the millennial woman. As a 25 year old female who travels frequently, she knows what it’s like to want to hear and curate real travel stories and not just the typical “perfect vacations’ we read about but the trips that forever change our lives! Her goal in creating Latitude + Avenue was to further connect, young women to relatable travel stories and provide products for wear while exploring the world. Follow @latitudeandavenue on Instagram and subscribe to the website.

Guest Bloggers: Briana Latrice CEO of Princess Empowerment

"Many are called but it is the few that are chosen that are willing to accept the challenge. For the 21 year old Founder and CEO of Princess Empowerment it was not much choice in the matter. God was relentless with her and her ministry.  Briana was exposed to the authentic power of God at an early age. But the journey really started when she rededicated her life back to Christ at age 19 and was called to ministry. The Detroit native, college graduate, mentor and now author holds many titles. Briana’s life walk in striving to remain obedient and focused on her calling stands as a model for young women."

Where Is Your Flashlight?

By: Briana Latrice

www.BrianaLatriece.com  

Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Periscope : @BrianaLatriece

Blog: PowerChosenRoyalty.blogspot.com

Do you remember the big blackout in Detroit also known as the Northeast Blackout of 2003?  I remember how people freaked out about how they were going to survive without electricity. We were so accustomed to having light at the flick of a switch that once the source of the electricity had gone out a panic took place. People totally forgot that we had another source of light to depend on and once they realized that, they were okay.

I remember enjoying those few days in the blackout a lot more than the days with the electricity working! The same thing goes for us and God. Walking through a dark room during a blackout can be scary because the light we once had, we think is now gone, when it’s really not. We always think that something we now have access to won’t be as helpful as what we normally have because it may be “too small”. But what we fail to realize is that God comes in ways that meets us exactly where we are.

That small flashlight you hold to walk through that dark room is the very thing you need to get to your destination (next level). You can be foolish and stumble around a dark room if you want to, bumping into things and hurting yourself. You might even make it to where you were trying to go, but it will take you even longer and it will be painful. However, when you activate the flashlight (Jesus), the vision you have becomes clearer and you can now see what is around you and where you are headed.

A flashlight creates a steady beam of light, so in a dark place its only focus is on your destination (new level). The steady beam of light helps avoid distractions, hurt, harm and danger; with the light you are protected.

In other words, although you may be experiencing a blackout, use that flashlight you are carrying. Just because you don’t have the tools you are used to, doesn’t mean your backup tools don’t work. This blackout experience is a season of focus. God knows exactly what will distract you from your next level. He is causing you to experience a season of “blackout” because He wants you to use your steady beam of light to get to where He needs you to go.

** To read more from Brian Latrice, visit BrianaLatriece.com

Register for Princess Empowerment 2016!

Guest Bloggers: Emari Parsons of Soul, Style, Beauty!

Emery Parsons of Soul, Style Beauty
IG: @soulstylebeauty
 Twitter: @soulstylebeauty
Facebook  SoulStyleBeauty

Emari Parsons of SoulStyleBeauty is a fashion, beauty and lifestyle blogger based in NY. At 23 years old Emari has always loved creating. She recently graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City with an Associates Degree in Fashion Design/Bachelors Degree in Advertising Marketing and Communications. Fashion is her first love as she currently works full time in the industry. Emari created Soul Style Beauty to share her passion for Life,Style and Beauty. 

"Where we talk about life, beauty and style starting from the inside out."

 www.SoulStyleBeauty.com

Youtube Channel: SoulStyleBeauty

Don’t Rush The Process!

By: Emari Parsons

This past Sunday, like every I do every week, I was on my way to the grocery store to prepare my weekly meal prep. I had just finished a dance class celebrating a friend’s birthday, so of course  I was feeling of fatigued as I walked there. I arrived at the grocery store shopping took longer than expected this time around. I was mentally & physically tired prior to walking in and quite frankly,  I didn't feel like walking up and down every aisle to find the things I needed! About 40 minutes later, with all the groceries in my cart, I stood in the self-checkout line and proceeded to a station. I scanned and bagged everything, item by item, and I was good to go.

On my way home, as usual I felt like the bag lady- the weight of stress due to many woes combined with the weight of the groceries were wearing on my sleeve. After making it home I started preparing  food for my meal prep. Multi-tasking with three pots on the stove, the stress levels increased and the thoughts started to arise. “Will I always be alone to take care of the things in my life?  Just me, myself and I handling every single thing? The thoughts continued to rush in and  I finally reached my breaking point for that day. I said out loud to God "I am sick of doing this alone." From carrying all the groceries home myself, to preparing my weekly meals, combined with all other responsibilities of my life was getting to me. 

I thought to myself, it’s happening again. Once again, I had found myself re-visiting the very thoughts that caused me to enter into situations that should have never began. Thoughts that cause me to question both my future and the  present moment. Truth is, we all have those moments where the pressures of life cause us to defocus from God’s promises, making room for false truths to fill our mind causing us to think we are lacking something. This can happen at any moment!

What we actually need to do is re-focus.

In Deuteronomy 31:8, God states “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you”. Therefore, God is already in our future. His word also states that he directs the steps of the godly and delights in every detail of their lives. These are true life promises of our creator, the living God! However, I know that is not easy to remember during stressful times.

Focusing is a skill that continuously needs to be sharpened.

Thoughts are created and depending on how you handle it, your thoughts can become actions. We have a choice to either take action right away while under pressure, or actually analyze the root of the issue before deciding to act out. Your thought pattern plays a crucial part! Experiencing this countless times, I have develop a few techniques myself to help quiet my thoughts, re-focus and patiently wait on what’s to come. 

Be At Peace Before Anything

The worst thing you can do is make a permanent decisions based off of temporary emotions. Get yourself at peace before anything! I like to remind myself of God’s promises so I tend to read the Bible, pray and listen to worship music to remind myself that God is still in control regardless of the circumstance (Hebrews 11:3).  Another option can be calling a friend to pray with you and talk about the situation. Good friends can cause you to discover things in yourself that you may not see at the current moment.

It’s A Process

“Don’t think of the end result too much. Know the goal but bask in the process. God is there.”

No one gets handed a well-developed future in a box! God prepares us for our future to come. You don’t want to miss that because every detail is crucial. Regardless if you are in a season of woes or great moments, there are always things to learn. Take in every lesson and evaluate how you are developing in the present moment.

Practice Gratitude

We must always approach God with thanksgiving even if life isn’t at its best. It’s cliché, but there is always something to be thankful for. The small things such as life, having a roof over your head and being able to be in the right state of mind often goes unnoticed. Practice gratitude for what you do have daily.

Pray, Wait and Trust

Communication with God is needed daily.  Prayer is when we can do just that. It gives a chance to get into the presence of God to speak to him and listen to what he has to say to us as well. Talk to him about your desires, your dreams, your down falls. He hears you! Then we must wait on him. The hardest part is not knowing when those things will happen, but that’s where trust is needed. Be patient because the last thing you want to do is rush into something that God never had planned for you.

Don’t rush the process of your life. There will be thoughts that fill your mind daily that can cause you to take action towards something that you’re not even prepared for yet. Instead of doing that, practice the above techniques and trust God. He has your future in his hands. Always re-focus and continue to wait on the Lord. When those thoughts fill your mind, analyze them, reject the ones that are not needed and re-focus.

Love you and god bless you!

E

Modesty: What’s the Big Deal?

By: Ashleigh Maynor, M.A., LPC, NCC
Coach | Blogger | Speaker, Founder of inTENtional U, LLC

Ashleigh Maynor,

theintetionalu@gmail.com || www.theintentionalu.com

Ashleigh is a true midwest girl. She loves to bake, salsa dance, attempt any Pinterest DIY project and serve God through singing in her church choir. She is an active member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and a Licensed Professional Counselor who enjoys helping others cultivate healthy relationships and discover their career passions in order to live their life intentionally.

I was originally going to write about relationships, you know the romantic kind. As a licensed therapist I really enjoy working with clients on building healthy relationships and working through tough issues. However, something I saw on Facebook last week changed my mind. Let me say right now that what I am about to say makes me a little concerned that from here on out everyone will be scrutinizing how I dress. I am a girl who loves her ponytails, jeans and sweatshirts, so don’t look at me funny when you see me in the streets with my pink and green Michigan sweatshirt, jeans and converse, that was my style before writing this and it’s going to be my style after (You’ll get where I’m going with this). That said, I wanted to touch on something that has been a hot topic in my group chats over the last week or so. My notifications have been constantly going off surrounding the topic of modesty. What is this thing called modesty and why has everyone been talking about it recently?

I’m gonna do me in Jesus’ name!

I’m sure many of you have been paying attention to the trending news with Ayesha Curry’s tweet a few months ago on modesty and more recently Devon Franklin coming to the defense of his wife, Meagan Good, after a woman rudely (in my opinion) made a comment in regards to her choice of clothing at an interview with One Church LA. To clarify, no - I don’t think that was the time or the place for that woman to address Meagan about her wardrobe. She missed a ripe opportunity to have a great conversation and better understand why Meagan chooses to wear what she does. Ultimately, they are two grown adults. She can dress how she wants to and if neither she nor her husband are convicted about it, then sometimes it’s best to just pray for people instead of inserting your two cents. Yes, I do believe Devon was right for standing up for his wife but where Devon lost me was when he said, “She can wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus!”. I cringed a little when that came across his lips. My dude...really?! He may have meant every word that he said, but I hope in hindsight he realizes that his delivery there could have been better.

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what what is proper for women who profess godliness -- with good works.” 1 Timothy 2:9

After that clip of Devon and Meagan began going viral on social media, my friends and I had some lengthy group chats giving our perspectives on it. One my friends stated that, “The bible is clear about what modesty is, but the definition of modesty is subjective.” I couldn’t agree with her more. 1 Timothy 2:9 says, “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what what is proper for women who profess godliness -- with good works.” Before some of you start sending me hatemail and claiming that I need to check my inner feminist, step back and read that scripture again and be careful that you aren't taking it out of context. This scripture is not saying we can’t wear nice or fancy things. I may like my sweatshirts, but I’m not out here in public looking frumpy on the daily. This scripture isn’t telling my to look like Plain Jane - what woman wants to look worn down and tattered? I love my pearls and plan on wearing them to the grave as they put the ivy on my casket. I don’t know any women, or men for that matter, who want women out here looking broke down, frumpy and unkempt, but I digress.

This scripture is simply calling on women to wear “respectable apparel” in order to show their true beauty. It’s not saying women shouldn’t dress in a way that makes them look and feel beautiful, it’s stating quite the opposite. It’s telling us women not to use material things to hold ourselves to a standard of beauty. Your true beauty is within. How do you adorn yourself properly? By making sure that your faith and your words match your actions. In other words, we as believers should be known for how we act not how we look.

In a society where sex sells, where looks and first impressions are everything, it’s just easier to conform. However, you and I have been set apart. We were not called to live an easy life, as believers we were called to be courageous and go against the grain - to hold ourselves to a different set of standards than the world does.

We Have a Choice!

That’s right good people! God has given each and every one of us free will. We can choose to glorify God in our bodies through what we wear and we can choose not to. Our convictions will be different. Just like some people feel convicted about drinking alcohol, I don’t. Now getting drunk is a different story, but having 1 or 2 glasses of wine over a period of time in a social setting is quite alright with me! As I am writing this, I am slightly convicted in other areas of my life, whether it be how I eat or do I exercise enough, but there’s always room to make better choices and room for growth. When you know better, you do better. I know that I strive to glorify God in everything that I do, but I don’t always make the best decisions. I’m pretty sure that if I am blessed to grow old and grey my decision making will be more sound, but I’m still going to make some bad one’s here and there, I’m human - that is going to happen. The awesome thing is that God shows his love for us in that while we are still sinners He gave his son to die for us.

The Grace is Real.

While everyone may look at you and I and turn their noses up in judgement and disgust; when people don’t like your style and say that how you look or live is gross, remember that God says grace! If God can show his grace to us, despite everything we’ve done and will do, then why is it that we can’t treat others in the same way? Could that woman have been more gracious in how she made her comment to Meagan... absolutely! That’s what I really liked about Meagan’s response. Even though the woman’s comment clearly upset Meagan, instead of getting mad and responding out of hurt and anger she said, “Pray for me”. She could have easily reacted, but by responding with a calm spirit and a smile she showed her class.

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

We are flawed and God shows us grace despite that. He uses our flaws and our mess to deliver a message. I don’t know about you, but that encourages me that He will meet me where I am and doesn’t expect me to be perfect. We are always growing and getting better, at least that’s what we hope, right? He is always working on us and we are a continuous work in progress. We don’t know what work God has planned for Meagan and Devon. Could her outer appearance be a distraction from their message? Yea, I’m sure it could be, but their message may not be for you and instead, for someone else. So don’t be so quick to judge - show a little grace.

“Modesty isn’t about covering up our bodies because they’re bad, modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves… it’s about revealing our beauty.”

Your Actions Should Speak So Loud 

I Can’t Hear a Word You’re Saying

“In the name of Jesus” should not be a justification to wear or do whatever we please. Our hearts will ultimately be lead by him each and every morning when we look in our closets and decide what we are going to put on for the day. It’s true, people are going to judge you and have opinions about you regardless, so dress in whatever makes you happy! I encourage you to start thinking about if what you’re wearing each day is a reflection of what your heart looks like.

Whether you believe it or not, it is true. If your heart is broken and craving attention, you're going to dress in a way that reflects that. If you’re depressed and feel beaten down, you’re going to dress in a way that says that. My sweatshirts, ponytails and jeans are a reflection of how comfortable and confident I am in my skin. When I feel like it or when the occasion calls for it, I know how to slay in some heels and a nice dress that hugs the curves - not too tight, but just right. Don’t let the way you look to be a distraction from the message God wants you to share and the purpose He has for you. As women we have the beauty and power to teach others how to see, treat and love us for the right reasons.

Why Today's Generation Dumped Traditional Dating

By: Drusilla Ollennu

IG: @toldbydrudoll

Twitter: @toldbydrudoll

 toldbydrudoll.com 

Remember what old school dating used to be like?  When people would go on several dates; and they took their time to get to know someone before taking the next step? Remember when men would pick women up in their cars for a date; and if they didn't have a car, they took public transportation and met the women in front of their homes? That was back in the day, or at least it feels like it. These actions are not entirely extinct, but back in the day, it was a societal norm to take it slow with dating. Now? Not so much.

Before I move forward with this article, I'm going to say that I accept the fact that everyone has different desires, standards, and expectations. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, and what I write is from personal experience. In my adult life, most of the men I've dated no longer exercise these "back in the day" dating traditions. It might take only one or two dates before a guy tries to get frisky.  Sometimes, there won't even need to be a date; there are some guys that just go in for the kill (aka attempting to have sex) during the first encounter. At some point I've started to wonder why this is becoming the new norm. My generation is taking less time to know one another, creating and ending relationships at a rapid rate, and I can't help but wonder, why? Why are we moving so much more quickly with each other without building a strong foundation? I'm not only talking about sex, I'm also referring to taking the next step with living arrangements and marriage. Once again, I'm not judging anyone for his or her decisions, do you boo boo! I'm just curious as to what triggered the shift in relationship dynamics over the years.

One of the reasons I believe dating and relationships have changed so much: technology. Just hear me out. Of course, other factors play a role, such as familial dynamics, issues with trust and commitment, past relationships that have failed, and many others, but what I have come to realize is that today's generation in particular feeds off of instant gratification. Thanks to technology, we're used to a fast pace. If you think about it, everything happens instantly: fast food, next day mail delivery, day to day communication (text messaging and emails), quick access to movies (Netflix), transportation (Uber, Lift), and the list goes on! You don't have to even make an effort to try to find someone to date because there's Tinder, Match.com...no shade to those platforms, but I'm just highlighting the immediate accessibility that comes with technology. We can pretty much get access to anything we want, at any time, and very quickly. In a world where we live this instant lifestyle, why wouldn't that also translate into our dating lives? Today's tech generation lacks patience because we are accustomed to convenience and immediate results in almost everything, and that mindset doesn't necessarily switch off when we hit the dating scene. 

With the way that our world has evolved, the speed of traditional dating is no longer appealing to many. But I can't help but wonder: did traditional dating produce more effective relationships than those of today? From my own experience, it is becoming more and more rare to come across individuals who are involved in long-term relationships. Today, we're all about the "cuffing season" (aka the time for 'seasonal relationships'), "Netflix and chill," "side chick," "this is just bae" culture; all of which sound like very temporary relationships. My parents took years to get to know each other and they have been together for thirty eight years now. I'm not sharing this to boast or make anyone feel bad, but I believe that there is something worth cherishing in traditional dating. Maybe being raised by traditional parents and witnessing the shift in how people interact with each other today makes me want to explore why we have dumped our old ways. I don't know all the answers; but whatever the case may be, what I do know is that technology plays a bigger part in our love lives more than we realize. Would you agree? 

Should you know a person’s past when pursing them?

By: Telicia Barksdale 

Question: Have you ever cheated on someone?

Answer: I’ve cheated in every relationship I’ve been in.

*****JUDGEMENT PROCESSING*****PLEASE WAIT***** JUDGEMENT PROCESSING*

Judgment:

“They’re serial cheater. They have cheated on every partner they have ever been with, and they’re probably going to cheat on me.”

Problem:

You’ve made a decision of who they are presently, based on what they did in the past.

______________________________________________________

“The only thing constant in life is change”

For all you know the only relationships that man may have had were during his adolescent years, and I can tell you the person that I am today is not the same person I was when I was 18. My mindset, my actions, my personality have changed.

We go through life we grow and learn from our experiences.

Don’t judge me for things I have done with an underdeveloped mind, body or spirit.

But with that said,

I see no harm in asking questions about the past.

Not focusing so much on what they did, but focusing more on their PRESENT thoughts about their PAST.

So for example:

Question: Have you ever been in a monogamous relationship with anyone?

Male A: “No, I used to mess with a bunch of females back in the day, I lived that life and loved it. Ahh those were the days, if only I could go back.”

Male B: “No, I used to date a lot of different females back in the day, I lived that life for a while but eventually it got old. “

Both of these males did the same thing in the past; however based on their responses, Male B sounds more likely to be successful in a monogamous relationship than Male A. So there’s nothing wrong with taking that response, noting it, and moving along.

The responses to questions about their past helps you identify things like:

Whether or not they are capable of growth?

Do they know right from wrong?

What type of morals they may have?

What do they value?

What they’re looking for?

Etc.

So by simply making conversation and sharing stories you’re getting to know each other. You’re getting to know each other without bluntly asking questions back to back, and making the date cold and awkward.

SO to sum it up, judge the response to the action and not the action…. Just kidding…well kind of J