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Remember what old school dating used to be like? When people would go on several dates; and they took their time to get to know someone before taking the next step? Remember when men would pick women up in their cars for a date; and if they didn't have a car, they took public transportation and met the women in front of their homes? That was back in the day, or at least it feels like it. These actions are not entirely extinct, but back in the day, it was a societal norm to take it slow with dating. Now? Not so much.
Before I move forward with this article, I'm going to say that I accept the fact that everyone has different desires, standards, and expectations. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, and what I write is from personal experience. In my adult life, most of the men I've dated no longer exercise these "back in the day" dating traditions. It might take only one or two dates before a guy tries to get frisky. Sometimes, there won't even need to be a date; there are some guys that just go in for the kill (aka attempting to have sex) during the first encounter. At some point I've started to wonder why this is becoming the new norm. My generation is taking less time to know one another, creating and ending relationships at a rapid rate, and I can't help but wonder, why? Why are we moving so much more quickly with each other without building a strong foundation? I'm not only talking about sex, I'm also referring to taking the next step with living arrangements and marriage. Once again, I'm not judging anyone for his or her decisions, do you boo boo! I'm just curious as to what triggered the shift in relationship dynamics over the years.
One of the reasons I believe dating and relationships have changed so much: technology. Just hear me out. Of course, other factors play a role, such as familial dynamics, issues with trust and commitment, past relationships that have failed, and many others, but what I have come to realize is that today's generation in particular feeds off of instant gratification. Thanks to technology, we're used to a fast pace. If you think about it, everything happens instantly: fast food, next day mail delivery, day to day communication (text messaging and emails), quick access to movies (Netflix), transportation (Uber, Lift), and the list goes on! You don't have to even make an effort to try to find someone to date because there's Tinder, Match.com...no shade to those platforms, but I'm just highlighting the immediate accessibility that comes with technology. We can pretty much get access to anything we want, at any time, and very quickly. In a world where we live this instant lifestyle, why wouldn't that also translate into our dating lives? Today's tech generation lacks patience because we are accustomed to convenience and immediate results in almost everything, and that mindset doesn't necessarily switch off when we hit the dating scene.
With the way that our world has evolved, the speed of traditional dating is no longer appealing to many. But I can't help but wonder: did traditional dating produce more effective relationships than those of today? From my own experience, it is becoming more and more rare to come across individuals who are involved in long-term relationships. Today, we're all about the "cuffing season" (aka the time for 'seasonal relationships'), "Netflix and chill," "side chick," "this is just bae" culture; all of which sound like very temporary relationships. My parents took years to get to know each other and they have been together for thirty eight years now. I'm not sharing this to boast or make anyone feel bad, but I believe that there is something worth cherishing in traditional dating. Maybe being raised by traditional parents and witnessing the shift in how people interact with each other today makes me want to explore why we have dumped our old ways. I don't know all the answers; but whatever the case may be, what I do know is that technology plays a bigger part in our love lives more than we realize. Would you agree?
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