Guest Bloggers: Emari Parsons of Soul, Style, Beauty!

Emery Parsons of Soul, Style Beauty
IG: @soulstylebeauty
 Twitter: @soulstylebeauty
Facebook  SoulStyleBeauty

Emari Parsons of SoulStyleBeauty is a fashion, beauty and lifestyle blogger based in NY. At 23 years old Emari has always loved creating. She recently graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City with an Associates Degree in Fashion Design/Bachelors Degree in Advertising Marketing and Communications. Fashion is her first love as she currently works full time in the industry. Emari created Soul Style Beauty to share her passion for Life,Style and Beauty. 

"Where we talk about life, beauty and style starting from the inside out."

 www.SoulStyleBeauty.com

Youtube Channel: SoulStyleBeauty

Don’t Rush The Process!

By: Emari Parsons

This past Sunday, like every I do every week, I was on my way to the grocery store to prepare my weekly meal prep. I had just finished a dance class celebrating a friend’s birthday, so of course  I was feeling of fatigued as I walked there. I arrived at the grocery store shopping took longer than expected this time around. I was mentally & physically tired prior to walking in and quite frankly,  I didn't feel like walking up and down every aisle to find the things I needed! About 40 minutes later, with all the groceries in my cart, I stood in the self-checkout line and proceeded to a station. I scanned and bagged everything, item by item, and I was good to go.

On my way home, as usual I felt like the bag lady- the weight of stress due to many woes combined with the weight of the groceries were wearing on my sleeve. After making it home I started preparing  food for my meal prep. Multi-tasking with three pots on the stove, the stress levels increased and the thoughts started to arise. “Will I always be alone to take care of the things in my life?  Just me, myself and I handling every single thing? The thoughts continued to rush in and  I finally reached my breaking point for that day. I said out loud to God "I am sick of doing this alone." From carrying all the groceries home myself, to preparing my weekly meals, combined with all other responsibilities of my life was getting to me. 

I thought to myself, it’s happening again. Once again, I had found myself re-visiting the very thoughts that caused me to enter into situations that should have never began. Thoughts that cause me to question both my future and the  present moment. Truth is, we all have those moments where the pressures of life cause us to defocus from God’s promises, making room for false truths to fill our mind causing us to think we are lacking something. This can happen at any moment!

What we actually need to do is re-focus.

In Deuteronomy 31:8, God states “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you”. Therefore, God is already in our future. His word also states that he directs the steps of the godly and delights in every detail of their lives. These are true life promises of our creator, the living God! However, I know that is not easy to remember during stressful times.

Focusing is a skill that continuously needs to be sharpened.

Thoughts are created and depending on how you handle it, your thoughts can become actions. We have a choice to either take action right away while under pressure, or actually analyze the root of the issue before deciding to act out. Your thought pattern plays a crucial part! Experiencing this countless times, I have develop a few techniques myself to help quiet my thoughts, re-focus and patiently wait on what’s to come. 

Be At Peace Before Anything

The worst thing you can do is make a permanent decisions based off of temporary emotions. Get yourself at peace before anything! I like to remind myself of God’s promises so I tend to read the Bible, pray and listen to worship music to remind myself that God is still in control regardless of the circumstance (Hebrews 11:3).  Another option can be calling a friend to pray with you and talk about the situation. Good friends can cause you to discover things in yourself that you may not see at the current moment.

It’s A Process

“Don’t think of the end result too much. Know the goal but bask in the process. God is there.”

No one gets handed a well-developed future in a box! God prepares us for our future to come. You don’t want to miss that because every detail is crucial. Regardless if you are in a season of woes or great moments, there are always things to learn. Take in every lesson and evaluate how you are developing in the present moment.

Practice Gratitude

We must always approach God with thanksgiving even if life isn’t at its best. It’s cliché, but there is always something to be thankful for. The small things such as life, having a roof over your head and being able to be in the right state of mind often goes unnoticed. Practice gratitude for what you do have daily.

Pray, Wait and Trust

Communication with God is needed daily.  Prayer is when we can do just that. It gives a chance to get into the presence of God to speak to him and listen to what he has to say to us as well. Talk to him about your desires, your dreams, your down falls. He hears you! Then we must wait on him. The hardest part is not knowing when those things will happen, but that’s where trust is needed. Be patient because the last thing you want to do is rush into something that God never had planned for you.

Don’t rush the process of your life. There will be thoughts that fill your mind daily that can cause you to take action towards something that you’re not even prepared for yet. Instead of doing that, practice the above techniques and trust God. He has your future in his hands. Always re-focus and continue to wait on the Lord. When those thoughts fill your mind, analyze them, reject the ones that are not needed and re-focus.

Love you and god bless you!

E

Why Today's Generation Dumped Traditional Dating

By: Drusilla Ollennu

IG: @toldbydrudoll

Twitter: @toldbydrudoll

 toldbydrudoll.com 

Remember what old school dating used to be like?  When people would go on several dates; and they took their time to get to know someone before taking the next step? Remember when men would pick women up in their cars for a date; and if they didn't have a car, they took public transportation and met the women in front of their homes? That was back in the day, or at least it feels like it. These actions are not entirely extinct, but back in the day, it was a societal norm to take it slow with dating. Now? Not so much.

Before I move forward with this article, I'm going to say that I accept the fact that everyone has different desires, standards, and expectations. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, and what I write is from personal experience. In my adult life, most of the men I've dated no longer exercise these "back in the day" dating traditions. It might take only one or two dates before a guy tries to get frisky.  Sometimes, there won't even need to be a date; there are some guys that just go in for the kill (aka attempting to have sex) during the first encounter. At some point I've started to wonder why this is becoming the new norm. My generation is taking less time to know one another, creating and ending relationships at a rapid rate, and I can't help but wonder, why? Why are we moving so much more quickly with each other without building a strong foundation? I'm not only talking about sex, I'm also referring to taking the next step with living arrangements and marriage. Once again, I'm not judging anyone for his or her decisions, do you boo boo! I'm just curious as to what triggered the shift in relationship dynamics over the years.

One of the reasons I believe dating and relationships have changed so much: technology. Just hear me out. Of course, other factors play a role, such as familial dynamics, issues with trust and commitment, past relationships that have failed, and many others, but what I have come to realize is that today's generation in particular feeds off of instant gratification. Thanks to technology, we're used to a fast pace. If you think about it, everything happens instantly: fast food, next day mail delivery, day to day communication (text messaging and emails), quick access to movies (Netflix), transportation (Uber, Lift), and the list goes on! You don't have to even make an effort to try to find someone to date because there's Tinder, Match.com...no shade to those platforms, but I'm just highlighting the immediate accessibility that comes with technology. We can pretty much get access to anything we want, at any time, and very quickly. In a world where we live this instant lifestyle, why wouldn't that also translate into our dating lives? Today's tech generation lacks patience because we are accustomed to convenience and immediate results in almost everything, and that mindset doesn't necessarily switch off when we hit the dating scene. 

With the way that our world has evolved, the speed of traditional dating is no longer appealing to many. But I can't help but wonder: did traditional dating produce more effective relationships than those of today? From my own experience, it is becoming more and more rare to come across individuals who are involved in long-term relationships. Today, we're all about the "cuffing season" (aka the time for 'seasonal relationships'), "Netflix and chill," "side chick," "this is just bae" culture; all of which sound like very temporary relationships. My parents took years to get to know each other and they have been together for thirty eight years now. I'm not sharing this to boast or make anyone feel bad, but I believe that there is something worth cherishing in traditional dating. Maybe being raised by traditional parents and witnessing the shift in how people interact with each other today makes me want to explore why we have dumped our old ways. I don't know all the answers; but whatever the case may be, what I do know is that technology plays a bigger part in our love lives more than we realize. Would you agree? 

The Perfect Summer Menu

By: Seri Roth (founder of Seri's Blog)

 

Drink- Watermelon Coolers

Ingredients:

4 cups watermelon cut in chunks

1 lime

Mint

Instructions:

Add watermelon, squeezed lime and a little water to vitamix or blender.

Blend well

Serve cold and garnish with fresh lime

Appetizer- Peach and Plum Gazpacho Soup

This colorful summer gazpacho can be served as an appetizer or dessert

Serves 6

Use a Vitamix or heavy-duty blender

Ingredients:

If possible use organic fruit

3 cups spring or filtered water

3 purple plums

3 white peaches

3 Nectarines

Handful fresh mint

Optional 1-2 TBL sugar

1 nectarine and mint for garnish

Instructions:

Cut fruit into chunks

Add water and all ingredients to Vitamix or blender

Start slow and increase to medium speed for 30-45 seconds so there are still some chunks of fruit.

Garnish each bowl with sliced nectarine on rim and sprig of mint in center

Main Dish- Peach Chicken

Serves 4

Ingredients:

4 chicken cutlets

Seasoned Panko

1 Egg

2 ripe apricots pitted and cut in half (can substitute peaches)

Apricot jam

Instructions

Dip each cutlet in beaten egg

Dredge each side in flavored panko

Put half apricot in center

Fold over

Top with teaspoon jam

Bake 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes

Side Dish- Grilled Summer Vegetable Skewers

Grilled summer vegetables are not only delicious but add vibrant color to your summer meals.

Use an assortment of your favorite vegetables.

Tomatoes, onions, zucchini, squash, red and yellow peppers, mushrooms.

Make your own olive oil marinade with your favorite spices and herbs.

Mix together

Olive oil

Fresh rosemary

Fresh basil

Fresh Thyme

Garlic

Pinch of sage

Salt

Pepper

Cut vegetables into bite size pieces

Thread on skewer

Brush with marinade

Grill or roast in 400-degree oven for 10 minutes

Side Dish- Corn on the cob

Corn on the cob can be so much fun. You can brush with any of your favorite spices or marinades on corn to create a multitude of flavors to a summer traditional food.

If you have a sweet tooth you will absolutely love this!

Instructions:

Cook corn

On stovetop Melt 1/4 stick butter 

Add 1 TBL sugar

1tsp cinnamon

Mix together

Brush on hot corn,

Serve immediately

Dessert- No Bake Chocolate Strawberry Delight

Ingredients:

2-3 Packages Lady Fingers

12 Ounces Chocolate Bits

3 Eggs

1 Pint heavy Whipping Cream

Fresh strawberries

Instructions:

Melt chocolate bits in microwave for 3 minutes or on double boiler pot

Separate eggs

Optional add yolks (fork beaten) or just 1 yolk to melted chocolate

Add 1-3 TBL water if needed. Mix well

Beat Egg whites stiff

Fold into chocolate mixture

Whip cream (not too stiff)

Add 1-2 TBL sugar and teaspoon vanilla to taste

Layer the ladyfingers, Chocolate mixture, and Whip cream.

Repeat layers covering the entire top with sliced strawberries

The Imitation of Life

By: Ayana Bryant-Weekes 

I look for God in nature, that's just one of the ways I remind myself that God is the ultimate artist. From the color changes of the leaves in the fall to the individual granules of sand on the beach, the artistry of our Creator is everywhere.

 There was a trend on Tumblr a while back called the Body Comparitive. It took attributes of the human body and compared them to elements of nature. For example, the comparison of a pregnant woman's stretch marks to Stratocumulus clouds or the design of a bruise to the design of a galaxy. You can tell from the images below that God's creativity in nature doesn't exclude our own brilliant designs.

For this post,  I took the Body Comparitive theory a step further. If God's creativity manifests through the creation of nature and echoes his creation of humanity, then what does that say about the things that we create? There has always been a question of whether art imitates life or life imitates art, and I'd like to propose that the two have a corresponding relationship. We receive inspiration through nature's effect on our 5 senses and then create (in whatever way we are blessed to create) a work of art that subsequently echos the artistry of God.

Below are some pictures I came across that exemplify this relationship between life and art. 

Hope you enjoy!

Chanel Runways 2008-2015

  The Colorful Cemeteries of Guatemala 

-->

Fashion inspired by nature 

Fathers, Kiss Your Sons: The Importance of Masculine Affection

One of the most beautiful things in the world is to witness the love and affection of a father for their child. Interestingly enough, this relationship is often represented by a father hugging and kissing their daughter while the relationship of a father and his son is represented by a mini pair of Jordans or a kid-sized basketball rim while a proud father looks on. There is nothing wrong with these representations however, I've noticed that these images are littered with expectation and too often discredit the element of affection between father and son. 

I came across this image on Tumblr and it really resonated with me. 

Sensitivity is where affection comes from but unfortunately, today's society parallels sensitivity to weakness or reserves that trait for homosexual men. Sensitivity can even be a turn off to some women who think that a "Manly Man" isn't sensitive or affectionate. 

I believe that raising a man without the element of affection throws off an entire family dynamic. Imagine a man as the head of a household who was raised to believe that sensitivity was equal to weakness or a man who doesn't  know how to be affectionate because he was never shown affection. These men grow up to be husbands and fathers who have to learn how to be affectionate as they go. The problem with this is that when a woman starts looking for the man who will take her from her father as a bride, affection will be something she looks for in the relationship. When the time comes for a man to become a father he will perpetuate that lack of affection to his children. 

Fathers, kiss your sons. Teach them the value of the words 'I Love You' and show them the example of love as a verb in a masculine way. As important as it is for young girls to see affection from their fathers, it is equally important that young boys see the same. The sensitivity of a man is not expressed the same way as that of a woman and that is the example young men need to see. 

Jerel’s 7 tips for “BETTER” Dating

By Jerel Duren

 

I am not dating expert. I am a far cry from “Hitch” or the “Love Guru” …believe me. I’m a single, 24 year old man who is still trying to figure it all out. However, I can say that after personal experiences and countless discussions with friends and family of various age groups and marital statuses, there are 7 tips that I’d like to offer to those of you who are still navigating this mysterious maze we call dating!

1.     Be honest about what you want

It sounds simple… and it is! Be honest, people! The truth will always surface- whether it’s in word or in deed. A lot of times we become deceptive with the people we’re interested in due to a fear of rejection or to cover up our true motives, amongst other things. No matter the reason, dishonesty will always cause hardships.

If you’re dating a person and you’re looking for a relationship, communicate that. Once you’ve been open and honest about that, the ball is in the other person’s court. So once you’re ready to take the next step past dating it won’t be a surprise! And vice versa, if you’re not looking for a relationship, let them know that upfront so should it become an issue down the line, a precedent has already been set.

Be Honest.

2.     Take your time

In today’s dating climate the whole “We don’t love ‘em,” “[They] ain’t loyal” façade is very prevalent. That’s all it is though, a façade. Too many of us are jumping in and out of relationships. I think we all have one or two people on Instagram or Facebook that has a new Bae, Boo, #WCW, #MCM, #LoveOfMyLife, #TogetherForever person on our timeline. SLOW DOWN. The saying goes “Good things come to those who wait.” It’s perfectly fine to seek out a significant other but take some time to get to know people. Actually go through a real dating phase before you decide to hop in a relationship with someone. By slowing up the pace, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartbreak and wasted energy.

3.     Have fun!

This one goes hand and hand with “Take your time.” The next time you’re about to go on a date, stop, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “RELAX.” Especially if you really like the person. Take things one day at a time. Set your mental checklist aside and enjoy yourself. Don’t be afraid to switch it up by talking to someone who doesn’t quite fit your normal steelo. (Yes, I said steelo.) Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Time is not refundable so why not make it enjoyable?

4.     Let actions determine how far the dating will go

If you’ve gone out with a person a few time and you feel like you two aren’t on the same page, there’s nothing wrong with keep things at the friendship level. If things are problematic in the early stages, don’t force it. Trust yourself. After a few times around the block I’m sure we can all recognize certain warning signs. DON’T IGNORE THE RED FLAGS.

5.     Life’s not a fairy tale

Ok, now I know I just said DON’T IGNORE THE WARNING SIGNS and I meant it. Yet, every person and situation is different. We all have things in our head that we want out of a potential mate- a checklist. Whether it’s nice hair, nice teeth, a good job, good looks… we all have our thing(s). That’s fine but you have to realize that you are not perfect yourself; you might not check off every box for your own #Bae. The woman might have children but she also might have her act together. That man might not have the best job but does he have the right work ethic? I’m not telling you to settle or lower your standards but give people a chance sometimes.

6.     Maintain a personal identity

Big Sean has a song called “When Some, Lose Some.” At the end of the song there is a clip of his father dropping some knowledge during a conversation. One of the things he said really stuck out to me. He said “Life is a feeling process.” Humans aren’t meant to be stagnant. We are meant to grow. We are meant to evolve. Just remember to maintain a sense of who you are at the core- no matter where you are in your process. Don’t be consumed so much in another person that you are willing to change everything about yourself to get or keep their attention.

7.     On to the next…

Chances are, the next person you date or go out with won’t be your husband or wife. That’s ok! Glean from them. Absorb what they have to teach you and carry on. One of my mentors always tells me “Jerel, you’ll keep going through the same things until you learn the lesson.” It’s true. Time and time again, you can date the same type of person or go through the same things over and over with the same person until you learn the lesson. Once you finally get it, move on. There really are many fish in the sea!

…Gone and try you some more fish! J

Happy Dating.

Jerel's new single BETTER will be available for streaming and download June 2nd, 2015!

 IG: @JerelDuren