A Team Talk Show Event: POV WIth Stasi Relaunch - Breaking SocialNorms:Being Seen and Not Heard

  By: Ayana Bryant-Weekes

The relaunch of POV with Stasi is the result of ensuing fearlessness that comes from trust in God coupled with the tenacity and determination of an entrepreneur. Nastassia Rena describes herself as a bold and candid woman of God and as I listened to her passionately describe plans for her upcoming POV with Stasi relaunch with audacity and confidence, I could clearly see the boldness and transparency she described. Only a bold woman makes it her mission to create a space for other powerful, Godly women to share their point of view on social issues that stereotype women.


Nastassia Rena is the creative director and founder of POV with Stasi, a panel driven networking social event for women in the Detroit area who are committed to breaking down barriers and defying social norms. A Team Talk Show host and Advance Magazine CEO Ambrea Curry will sit on this month's panel alongside two other amazing panelists. 

 LaToya Early is the founder of Chase Great Enterprises™ LLC a company that provides vision development strategies to aspiring and rising entrepreneurs. LaToya is also a wife, woman of God, mother and purpose enthusiast who has devoted her life to helping others gain authentic success through strategic planning and vision development. She utilizes her ability to help innovators express their entrepreneurial desires to its greatest potential. She maximizes her coaching gift by offering creative coaching techniques that will edify, exhort and empower both men and women who are ready to live in purpose full-time.

 


Silver "Danielle" Moore defines herself as a church girl, prayer warrior, indigenous Detroiter, Black Hip-Hop Feminist of Faith, curator of fly fashions, a naturalista, thrifting expert, social justice educator, a writer, and thinker. Her love for fashion and love for the Lord collided in 2015 and she created the blog HerRoyalDopeness.com. She believes that because God created for us to be "peculiar people" (1 Peter 2:9) one's style should be bold, unique, and stand out in a crowd. Silver Danielle believes that every church girl can be fly and ever saved girl can have swag!
  
  



These influential business women will discuss and share their point of view on "Breaking Social Norms: Being Seen and Not Heard". This dynamic panel offers a unique point of view on the silent power of a woman's presence. This month's POV with Stasi is geared towards women who shatter society's stereotypes of African American women and embody the vastly dynamic characteristics of women in the Bible, which is the foundation of Nastassia's business model as a woman. The event will be held June 18, 2016 at  Detroit Public Safety Academy in Detroit from 4pm to 7pm. Click here to register for the POV with Stasi Relaunch!

Nastasia is also a mother, a wife, the creator and founder of Roses upon Thorns, a licensed cosmetologist and soon to be evangelist. Through God's word Nastassia aims to educate, empower, and encourage women to accomplish their goals and live their lives to its fullest potential.  Keep up with Nastassia and 'POV With Stassi' on Facebook: Nastassia Rena, Twitter: Nastassia Rena and IG: nastassiarena

Guest Bloggers: Nicole Ballantine of Latitude and Avenue

My Island Heart, A Story of Travel and Identity

By: Nicole Ballentine 

Counter Person: “What do you want?”

Me: “Can I get an oxtail with rice and peas?”

Counter Person: “You want cabbage?”

Me: “Yes and plantain thanks!”

That brief exchange is a typical encounter in a Jamaican restaurant in NYC. Growing up in the United States but being of Jamaican descent, these and other interactions, like speaking with my grandmother and understanding her Patwah, are all reminders that there’s another place on Earth that I consider home.

Jamaica, the homeland of both my mother and father, may not see very me often but has always been with me in spirit. On holidays when my cousins get together and play Ludo, the Jamaican version of the popular board game, when I hear Beres Hammond, a popular old school reggae artist, or watch a Majah Hype video and can relate, I realize the tropical island is still very close at heart although I'm displaced thousand of miles of away.

Even with these experiences I’ve been able to have, I worry whether or not I carry enough of my culture and fear not being able to pass down the same recipes and traditions I grew up with to my own  offspring; especially now since I will be heading to the West Coast in a few weeks to begin the next chapter of my life and will be far away from my family and my Jamaican American community. It won't be as easy to grab a (good) beef patty with coco bread in Los Angeles as it is in Crown Heights BK but I will be able to now tell others of what one is and learn how to create Jamaican dishes and make a Jamaican Ludo board to play with my new found California friends.

When you think about it, that is truly the beauty of travel, being able to share your traditions and beliefs and to create and pass down a culture of your own as you move throughout the Earth. So I’m really not losing my heritage but adding to it as I continue on my journey around the  world.

Nicole Ballantine

Creator, Latitude + Avenue
"for the wanderlust"

Nicole Ballantine is a freelance Lifestyle Editorial Assistant currently living in NYC with sights on California in the upcoming months. After losing her Product development job in August 2014, Nicole was inspired to create the life she always wanted to live and dreamed up Latitude and Avenue, a lifestyle travel website geared towards the millennial woman. As a 25 year old female who travels frequently, she knows what it’s like to want to hear and curate real travel stories and not just the typical “perfect vacations’ we read about but the trips that forever change our lives! Her goal in creating Latitude + Avenue was to further connect, young women to relatable travel stories and provide products for wear while exploring the world. Follow @latitudeandavenue on Instagram and subscribe to the website.

Guest Bloggers: Nastassia Rena of POV With Stassi

Suited but Settled 

Who are you? Who do you claim to be? When you wake up every morning are you excited or miserable about the job that you’re heading to? Maybe the better question is what’s your profession and who are you professing to be? 

Webster defines profession as a paid occupation that involves prolonged training and formal qualification, and professing as making an open claim or declaration. Is the profession that you’re in now your calling? Is it lined up with what God had planned for you? These are questions that I started asking myself. I realized that I fell into three categories: 

You’re currently in a profession that you know is not your calling. 

Your profession is your calling but you don’t really care for the job. 

You don’t know what your calling is. 

This caused me to change my major 4 times in college, then I eventually dropped out of college, I became a mother at the age of 21, and I had over 15 jobs in 10 years. I know right! All this because I wasn’t listening to what God was saying. I felt that I knew what I should be doing and I was tired of waiting on God. I knew, or so I thought, exactly what and how my life should be. In my mind, I should have had 2 degrees at the age of 25, married by the age of 27 and had three kids, two dogs and a six figure income. I am 33 years old, a newlywed, a mother to an amazing 11 year old son who has a great calling on his life, no college degree (yet), making about thirty thousand a year and I am just now walking in my calling.

I can honestly say that I have always known what my calling was, I was just afraid to pursue it. I have always had the right equipment but was so afraid to use it. I was so busy listening to foolishness and worried about what people might think or say. (I was told that a woman couldn’t and shouldn’t preach or prophesy. I was also told that as a woman I was to be seen and not heard.) I resigned before I even started.  

Let’s pretend that you are in Jamaica getting ready to go swimming in the ocean with the dolphins. You get to the beach and the equipment is all ready for you to go. You are so excited that you waste no time. You suit up! But instead of swimming in the ocean with the dolphins, you end up in a swimming pool with a blow up dolphin. Instead of “fighting” for what you know you are supposed to be doing; you settle. You are fully suited and equipped to be in the ocean, but instead you swim in the pool with that blow up dolphin. This is what I was talking about when I listed the three categories we can fall into. Your “calling” was to be in the ocean with dolphins. You were properly equipped and suited to be in the ocean, but because of you falling into those categories you just settled! How foolish of us! 

God gives us all special abilities or talents. Moses had everything he needed to get the job done. Clearly God knew him and had a plan for him before he was born. We know this because Moses’ mother had a baby boy and kept him for about 3 months during the time  when the Egyptians were killing all the hebrew boys. We also know His Word to be true when Moses was saved by Pharaoh's daughter, raised in Pharaoh's house, trained in the Egyptians ways and taught their language. When God was ready for Moses to fulfill His plan Moses argued that he was the wrong man for the job. Moses was equipped with great things and didn’t know it or believe it. But when he trusted in Him and stepped out on faith… Moses did some great things! Things he didn’t and couldn’t even imagine! 

You have to walk confidently in your calling whatever it may be. Just like in our pretend story and in Moses’ story, you have all the equipment needed to fulfill your calling, you just have to trust God and jump. If you don’t know what you’re calling is ask God to reveal it to you and then walk in that calling. If you’re currently in a position and you know that it’s not what God had planned for you, get in line with HIs word! Ask God to reveal yourself to you so that you can align yourself with Him and the calling that He placed on your life. If you’re in a position and you know that that is what God has for you then be patient and trust in Him. Sometimes the process doesn’t make sense or feel good, but it's all working together for your good. 

Don’t get suited and then settle! 

**Nastassia Renà is the creative director and founder of POV with Stasi which is a panel style talk show and social event for the women who want more out of life than just living life. Nastassia is a bold diverse and outspoken woman of God who's goal is to uplift and network with other powerful Godly women. She is also a mother, a wife, the creator and founder of Roses upon Thorns, a licensed cosmetologist and soon to be evangelist. Keep up with Nastassia and 'POV With Stassi' on Facebook: Nastassia Rena, Twitter: Nastassia Rena and IG: nastassiarena

 

Guest Bloggers: Briana Latrice CEO of Princess Empowerment

"Many are called but it is the few that are chosen that are willing to accept the challenge. For the 21 year old Founder and CEO of Princess Empowerment it was not much choice in the matter. God was relentless with her and her ministry.  Briana was exposed to the authentic power of God at an early age. But the journey really started when she rededicated her life back to Christ at age 19 and was called to ministry. The Detroit native, college graduate, mentor and now author holds many titles. Briana’s life walk in striving to remain obedient and focused on her calling stands as a model for young women."

Where Is Your Flashlight?

By: Briana Latrice

www.BrianaLatriece.com  

Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Periscope : @BrianaLatriece

Blog: PowerChosenRoyalty.blogspot.com

Do you remember the big blackout in Detroit also known as the Northeast Blackout of 2003?  I remember how people freaked out about how they were going to survive without electricity. We were so accustomed to having light at the flick of a switch that once the source of the electricity had gone out a panic took place. People totally forgot that we had another source of light to depend on and once they realized that, they were okay.

I remember enjoying those few days in the blackout a lot more than the days with the electricity working! The same thing goes for us and God. Walking through a dark room during a blackout can be scary because the light we once had, we think is now gone, when it’s really not. We always think that something we now have access to won’t be as helpful as what we normally have because it may be “too small”. But what we fail to realize is that God comes in ways that meets us exactly where we are.

That small flashlight you hold to walk through that dark room is the very thing you need to get to your destination (next level). You can be foolish and stumble around a dark room if you want to, bumping into things and hurting yourself. You might even make it to where you were trying to go, but it will take you even longer and it will be painful. However, when you activate the flashlight (Jesus), the vision you have becomes clearer and you can now see what is around you and where you are headed.

A flashlight creates a steady beam of light, so in a dark place its only focus is on your destination (new level). The steady beam of light helps avoid distractions, hurt, harm and danger; with the light you are protected.

In other words, although you may be experiencing a blackout, use that flashlight you are carrying. Just because you don’t have the tools you are used to, doesn’t mean your backup tools don’t work. This blackout experience is a season of focus. God knows exactly what will distract you from your next level. He is causing you to experience a season of “blackout” because He wants you to use your steady beam of light to get to where He needs you to go.

** To read more from Brian Latrice, visit BrianaLatriece.com

Register for Princess Empowerment 2016!

Guest Bloggers: Emari Parsons of Soul, Style, Beauty!

Emery Parsons of Soul, Style Beauty
IG: @soulstylebeauty
 Twitter: @soulstylebeauty
Facebook  SoulStyleBeauty

Emari Parsons of SoulStyleBeauty is a fashion, beauty and lifestyle blogger based in NY. At 23 years old Emari has always loved creating. She recently graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City with an Associates Degree in Fashion Design/Bachelors Degree in Advertising Marketing and Communications. Fashion is her first love as she currently works full time in the industry. Emari created Soul Style Beauty to share her passion for Life,Style and Beauty. 

"Where we talk about life, beauty and style starting from the inside out."

 www.SoulStyleBeauty.com

Youtube Channel: SoulStyleBeauty

Don’t Rush The Process!

By: Emari Parsons

This past Sunday, like every I do every week, I was on my way to the grocery store to prepare my weekly meal prep. I had just finished a dance class celebrating a friend’s birthday, so of course  I was feeling of fatigued as I walked there. I arrived at the grocery store shopping took longer than expected this time around. I was mentally & physically tired prior to walking in and quite frankly,  I didn't feel like walking up and down every aisle to find the things I needed! About 40 minutes later, with all the groceries in my cart, I stood in the self-checkout line and proceeded to a station. I scanned and bagged everything, item by item, and I was good to go.

On my way home, as usual I felt like the bag lady- the weight of stress due to many woes combined with the weight of the groceries were wearing on my sleeve. After making it home I started preparing  food for my meal prep. Multi-tasking with three pots on the stove, the stress levels increased and the thoughts started to arise. “Will I always be alone to take care of the things in my life?  Just me, myself and I handling every single thing? The thoughts continued to rush in and  I finally reached my breaking point for that day. I said out loud to God "I am sick of doing this alone." From carrying all the groceries home myself, to preparing my weekly meals, combined with all other responsibilities of my life was getting to me. 

I thought to myself, it’s happening again. Once again, I had found myself re-visiting the very thoughts that caused me to enter into situations that should have never began. Thoughts that cause me to question both my future and the  present moment. Truth is, we all have those moments where the pressures of life cause us to defocus from God’s promises, making room for false truths to fill our mind causing us to think we are lacking something. This can happen at any moment!

What we actually need to do is re-focus.

In Deuteronomy 31:8, God states “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you”. Therefore, God is already in our future. His word also states that he directs the steps of the godly and delights in every detail of their lives. These are true life promises of our creator, the living God! However, I know that is not easy to remember during stressful times.

Focusing is a skill that continuously needs to be sharpened.

Thoughts are created and depending on how you handle it, your thoughts can become actions. We have a choice to either take action right away while under pressure, or actually analyze the root of the issue before deciding to act out. Your thought pattern plays a crucial part! Experiencing this countless times, I have develop a few techniques myself to help quiet my thoughts, re-focus and patiently wait on what’s to come. 

Be At Peace Before Anything

The worst thing you can do is make a permanent decisions based off of temporary emotions. Get yourself at peace before anything! I like to remind myself of God’s promises so I tend to read the Bible, pray and listen to worship music to remind myself that God is still in control regardless of the circumstance (Hebrews 11:3).  Another option can be calling a friend to pray with you and talk about the situation. Good friends can cause you to discover things in yourself that you may not see at the current moment.

It’s A Process

“Don’t think of the end result too much. Know the goal but bask in the process. God is there.”

No one gets handed a well-developed future in a box! God prepares us for our future to come. You don’t want to miss that because every detail is crucial. Regardless if you are in a season of woes or great moments, there are always things to learn. Take in every lesson and evaluate how you are developing in the present moment.

Practice Gratitude

We must always approach God with thanksgiving even if life isn’t at its best. It’s cliché, but there is always something to be thankful for. The small things such as life, having a roof over your head and being able to be in the right state of mind often goes unnoticed. Practice gratitude for what you do have daily.

Pray, Wait and Trust

Communication with God is needed daily.  Prayer is when we can do just that. It gives a chance to get into the presence of God to speak to him and listen to what he has to say to us as well. Talk to him about your desires, your dreams, your down falls. He hears you! Then we must wait on him. The hardest part is not knowing when those things will happen, but that’s where trust is needed. Be patient because the last thing you want to do is rush into something that God never had planned for you.

Don’t rush the process of your life. There will be thoughts that fill your mind daily that can cause you to take action towards something that you’re not even prepared for yet. Instead of doing that, practice the above techniques and trust God. He has your future in his hands. Always re-focus and continue to wait on the Lord. When those thoughts fill your mind, analyze them, reject the ones that are not needed and re-focus.

Love you and god bless you!

E

Modesty: What’s the Big Deal?

By: Ashleigh Maynor, M.A., LPC, NCC
Coach | Blogger | Speaker, Founder of inTENtional U, LLC

Ashleigh Maynor,

theintetionalu@gmail.com || www.theintentionalu.com

Ashleigh is a true midwest girl. She loves to bake, salsa dance, attempt any Pinterest DIY project and serve God through singing in her church choir. She is an active member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and a Licensed Professional Counselor who enjoys helping others cultivate healthy relationships and discover their career passions in order to live their life intentionally.

I was originally going to write about relationships, you know the romantic kind. As a licensed therapist I really enjoy working with clients on building healthy relationships and working through tough issues. However, something I saw on Facebook last week changed my mind. Let me say right now that what I am about to say makes me a little concerned that from here on out everyone will be scrutinizing how I dress. I am a girl who loves her ponytails, jeans and sweatshirts, so don’t look at me funny when you see me in the streets with my pink and green Michigan sweatshirt, jeans and converse, that was my style before writing this and it’s going to be my style after (You’ll get where I’m going with this). That said, I wanted to touch on something that has been a hot topic in my group chats over the last week or so. My notifications have been constantly going off surrounding the topic of modesty. What is this thing called modesty and why has everyone been talking about it recently?

I’m gonna do me in Jesus’ name!

I’m sure many of you have been paying attention to the trending news with Ayesha Curry’s tweet a few months ago on modesty and more recently Devon Franklin coming to the defense of his wife, Meagan Good, after a woman rudely (in my opinion) made a comment in regards to her choice of clothing at an interview with One Church LA. To clarify, no - I don’t think that was the time or the place for that woman to address Meagan about her wardrobe. She missed a ripe opportunity to have a great conversation and better understand why Meagan chooses to wear what she does. Ultimately, they are two grown adults. She can dress how she wants to and if neither she nor her husband are convicted about it, then sometimes it’s best to just pray for people instead of inserting your two cents. Yes, I do believe Devon was right for standing up for his wife but where Devon lost me was when he said, “She can wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus!”. I cringed a little when that came across his lips. My dude...really?! He may have meant every word that he said, but I hope in hindsight he realizes that his delivery there could have been better.

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what what is proper for women who profess godliness -- with good works.” 1 Timothy 2:9

After that clip of Devon and Meagan began going viral on social media, my friends and I had some lengthy group chats giving our perspectives on it. One my friends stated that, “The bible is clear about what modesty is, but the definition of modesty is subjective.” I couldn’t agree with her more. 1 Timothy 2:9 says, “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what what is proper for women who profess godliness -- with good works.” Before some of you start sending me hatemail and claiming that I need to check my inner feminist, step back and read that scripture again and be careful that you aren't taking it out of context. This scripture is not saying we can’t wear nice or fancy things. I may like my sweatshirts, but I’m not out here in public looking frumpy on the daily. This scripture isn’t telling my to look like Plain Jane - what woman wants to look worn down and tattered? I love my pearls and plan on wearing them to the grave as they put the ivy on my casket. I don’t know any women, or men for that matter, who want women out here looking broke down, frumpy and unkempt, but I digress.

This scripture is simply calling on women to wear “respectable apparel” in order to show their true beauty. It’s not saying women shouldn’t dress in a way that makes them look and feel beautiful, it’s stating quite the opposite. It’s telling us women not to use material things to hold ourselves to a standard of beauty. Your true beauty is within. How do you adorn yourself properly? By making sure that your faith and your words match your actions. In other words, we as believers should be known for how we act not how we look.

In a society where sex sells, where looks and first impressions are everything, it’s just easier to conform. However, you and I have been set apart. We were not called to live an easy life, as believers we were called to be courageous and go against the grain - to hold ourselves to a different set of standards than the world does.

We Have a Choice!

That’s right good people! God has given each and every one of us free will. We can choose to glorify God in our bodies through what we wear and we can choose not to. Our convictions will be different. Just like some people feel convicted about drinking alcohol, I don’t. Now getting drunk is a different story, but having 1 or 2 glasses of wine over a period of time in a social setting is quite alright with me! As I am writing this, I am slightly convicted in other areas of my life, whether it be how I eat or do I exercise enough, but there’s always room to make better choices and room for growth. When you know better, you do better. I know that I strive to glorify God in everything that I do, but I don’t always make the best decisions. I’m pretty sure that if I am blessed to grow old and grey my decision making will be more sound, but I’m still going to make some bad one’s here and there, I’m human - that is going to happen. The awesome thing is that God shows his love for us in that while we are still sinners He gave his son to die for us.

The Grace is Real.

While everyone may look at you and I and turn their noses up in judgement and disgust; when people don’t like your style and say that how you look or live is gross, remember that God says grace! If God can show his grace to us, despite everything we’ve done and will do, then why is it that we can’t treat others in the same way? Could that woman have been more gracious in how she made her comment to Meagan... absolutely! That’s what I really liked about Meagan’s response. Even though the woman’s comment clearly upset Meagan, instead of getting mad and responding out of hurt and anger she said, “Pray for me”. She could have easily reacted, but by responding with a calm spirit and a smile she showed her class.

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

We are flawed and God shows us grace despite that. He uses our flaws and our mess to deliver a message. I don’t know about you, but that encourages me that He will meet me where I am and doesn’t expect me to be perfect. We are always growing and getting better, at least that’s what we hope, right? He is always working on us and we are a continuous work in progress. We don’t know what work God has planned for Meagan and Devon. Could her outer appearance be a distraction from their message? Yea, I’m sure it could be, but their message may not be for you and instead, for someone else. So don’t be so quick to judge - show a little grace.

“Modesty isn’t about covering up our bodies because they’re bad, modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves… it’s about revealing our beauty.”

Your Actions Should Speak So Loud 

I Can’t Hear a Word You’re Saying

“In the name of Jesus” should not be a justification to wear or do whatever we please. Our hearts will ultimately be lead by him each and every morning when we look in our closets and decide what we are going to put on for the day. It’s true, people are going to judge you and have opinions about you regardless, so dress in whatever makes you happy! I encourage you to start thinking about if what you’re wearing each day is a reflection of what your heart looks like.

Whether you believe it or not, it is true. If your heart is broken and craving attention, you're going to dress in a way that reflects that. If you’re depressed and feel beaten down, you’re going to dress in a way that says that. My sweatshirts, ponytails and jeans are a reflection of how comfortable and confident I am in my skin. When I feel like it or when the occasion calls for it, I know how to slay in some heels and a nice dress that hugs the curves - not too tight, but just right. Don’t let the way you look to be a distraction from the message God wants you to share and the purpose He has for you. As women we have the beauty and power to teach others how to see, treat and love us for the right reasons.

Why Today's Generation Dumped Traditional Dating

By: Drusilla Ollennu

IG: @toldbydrudoll

Twitter: @toldbydrudoll

 toldbydrudoll.com 

Remember what old school dating used to be like?  When people would go on several dates; and they took their time to get to know someone before taking the next step? Remember when men would pick women up in their cars for a date; and if they didn't have a car, they took public transportation and met the women in front of their homes? That was back in the day, or at least it feels like it. These actions are not entirely extinct, but back in the day, it was a societal norm to take it slow with dating. Now? Not so much.

Before I move forward with this article, I'm going to say that I accept the fact that everyone has different desires, standards, and expectations. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, and what I write is from personal experience. In my adult life, most of the men I've dated no longer exercise these "back in the day" dating traditions. It might take only one or two dates before a guy tries to get frisky.  Sometimes, there won't even need to be a date; there are some guys that just go in for the kill (aka attempting to have sex) during the first encounter. At some point I've started to wonder why this is becoming the new norm. My generation is taking less time to know one another, creating and ending relationships at a rapid rate, and I can't help but wonder, why? Why are we moving so much more quickly with each other without building a strong foundation? I'm not only talking about sex, I'm also referring to taking the next step with living arrangements and marriage. Once again, I'm not judging anyone for his or her decisions, do you boo boo! I'm just curious as to what triggered the shift in relationship dynamics over the years.

One of the reasons I believe dating and relationships have changed so much: technology. Just hear me out. Of course, other factors play a role, such as familial dynamics, issues with trust and commitment, past relationships that have failed, and many others, but what I have come to realize is that today's generation in particular feeds off of instant gratification. Thanks to technology, we're used to a fast pace. If you think about it, everything happens instantly: fast food, next day mail delivery, day to day communication (text messaging and emails), quick access to movies (Netflix), transportation (Uber, Lift), and the list goes on! You don't have to even make an effort to try to find someone to date because there's Tinder, Match.com...no shade to those platforms, but I'm just highlighting the immediate accessibility that comes with technology. We can pretty much get access to anything we want, at any time, and very quickly. In a world where we live this instant lifestyle, why wouldn't that also translate into our dating lives? Today's tech generation lacks patience because we are accustomed to convenience and immediate results in almost everything, and that mindset doesn't necessarily switch off when we hit the dating scene. 

With the way that our world has evolved, the speed of traditional dating is no longer appealing to many. But I can't help but wonder: did traditional dating produce more effective relationships than those of today? From my own experience, it is becoming more and more rare to come across individuals who are involved in long-term relationships. Today, we're all about the "cuffing season" (aka the time for 'seasonal relationships'), "Netflix and chill," "side chick," "this is just bae" culture; all of which sound like very temporary relationships. My parents took years to get to know each other and they have been together for thirty eight years now. I'm not sharing this to boast or make anyone feel bad, but I believe that there is something worth cherishing in traditional dating. Maybe being raised by traditional parents and witnessing the shift in how people interact with each other today makes me want to explore why we have dumped our old ways. I don't know all the answers; but whatever the case may be, what I do know is that technology plays a bigger part in our love lives more than we realize. Would you agree? 

A Mommy Minute: Year End Review

By: Jessica Byrd

I love the holidays, particularly at  the end of the year. This time of year is so exciting! Most of us are preparing for the holiday and getting ready for a new year and this is when I look forward to new beginnings and do my own year end review to look over my past mistakes and lessons learned. Here are a couple things I've learned about life, parenthood, balance and so forth this year.

1. Each and every child is different and you have to treat them accordingly. My children are thirteen months apart, and although they're close in age, they are completely different. My daughter is self sufficient, my son is not. His whining used to bother me so much, and still does, but I had to realize that I can't compare my children, nor can I discipline them the same, or talk to them the same way. Through trial and error I've learned the importance of treating my children like individuals instead of a group. 
2.  Every relationship needs clear communication, and expectations to be clear. This was huge for me. Being a mother is important, and my marriage is the most important (yes it says this in the bible also.) A lot of arguments could of be avoided had we had clear communication. Same for friendships, we and in this case I, sometimes can place expectations on my friends and when they don't follow through, I'm upset. All of this must be communicated with every relationship you have. This was something huge I learned this year. 
3. Redirection is huge! So, I'll admit, I am big on discipline, but not everything needs a spanking. I learned the importance of redirection for my children, but I've also learned the difference between needing to use redirection and discipline. When my children are crying because they can't get their way it's no need to have a debate, young toddlers don't understand why they can't have something, which means you have to explain the reason to them and redirect your children to a "yes" !  
4. Patience! I have none, and the minute I asked God for patience, the more I was tested. I reworked my schedule sometimes to have more patience. As I mentioned before, waking up earlier in the mornings allows for more patience with your children. Same goes for life, preparation is huge in life and decreases a big rush. Preparation is key! 
5.  Pray till you can't pray anymore. I saved this for last but it is the most important. Although I consider myself to be a spiritual person,  prayer was something that I didn't do everyday. Life can get so busy, but prayer is important! Of Course we take our big issues to God but what about the small things. Praying for a good day, praying for your children safety while at school, praying you make good sound decisions. Recently, I've started my days off with prayer and it helps!

**This weekend was my daughter first dance recital, she did so good and loved every bit of it!!

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of CHICMoms (formerly Detroit Moms Rock) and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!