A Mommy Minute: Year End Review

By: Jessica Byrd

I love the holidays, particularly at  the end of the year. This time of year is so exciting! Most of us are preparing for the holiday and getting ready for a new year and this is when I look forward to new beginnings and do my own year end review to look over my past mistakes and lessons learned. Here are a couple things I've learned about life, parenthood, balance and so forth this year.

1. Each and every child is different and you have to treat them accordingly. My children are thirteen months apart, and although they're close in age, they are completely different. My daughter is self sufficient, my son is not. His whining used to bother me so much, and still does, but I had to realize that I can't compare my children, nor can I discipline them the same, or talk to them the same way. Through trial and error I've learned the importance of treating my children like individuals instead of a group. 
2.  Every relationship needs clear communication, and expectations to be clear. This was huge for me. Being a mother is important, and my marriage is the most important (yes it says this in the bible also.) A lot of arguments could of be avoided had we had clear communication. Same for friendships, we and in this case I, sometimes can place expectations on my friends and when they don't follow through, I'm upset. All of this must be communicated with every relationship you have. This was something huge I learned this year. 
3. Redirection is huge! So, I'll admit, I am big on discipline, but not everything needs a spanking. I learned the importance of redirection for my children, but I've also learned the difference between needing to use redirection and discipline. When my children are crying because they can't get their way it's no need to have a debate, young toddlers don't understand why they can't have something, which means you have to explain the reason to them and redirect your children to a "yes" !  
4. Patience! I have none, and the minute I asked God for patience, the more I was tested. I reworked my schedule sometimes to have more patience. As I mentioned before, waking up earlier in the mornings allows for more patience with your children. Same goes for life, preparation is huge in life and decreases a big rush. Preparation is key! 
5.  Pray till you can't pray anymore. I saved this for last but it is the most important. Although I consider myself to be a spiritual person,  prayer was something that I didn't do everyday. Life can get so busy, but prayer is important! Of Course we take our big issues to God but what about the small things. Praying for a good day, praying for your children safety while at school, praying you make good sound decisions. Recently, I've started my days off with prayer and it helps!

**This weekend was my daughter first dance recital, she did so good and loved every bit of it!!

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of CHICMoms (formerly Detroit Moms Rock) and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

A Mommy Minute: The News Is Out!!!!!

By: Jessica Byrd 

Yay!!! The news is out! Moms Club is officially a non-profit organization and our new name is CHICmom. 'CHIC' stands for, Confident, Heroic, Inspiring, Courageous Mom. I am so excited for the direction that CHICmom is going. Our main goal is to equip mothers with the tools and necessities to become better mothers, while encouraging mothers to live their best lives. 

Being a mother takes a sacrifice and more often then not, mothers always put themselves last. I want mothers to know that our title as "mom" doesn't stop us from fulfilling our dreams and life purposes. Too many times we give up on ourselves to be the best mothers we can be to our children. Motherhood is very important but I encourage mothers to be our children's example. Through the CHICmom organization, we will host workshops, play dates, moms nights out, and more. Are you a CHICmom ? Join us! 

This weekend was princess Lailah birthday party!!! My baby is now the big 3! Her party was held at the Hands on Museum in Ann Arbor and afterwards we sang happy birthday, had ice cream, cake and tacos at home! It was so much fun!!!! 

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!! I am looking forward to another year! In January CHICmom will host our vision board party! Details will be coming soon! 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old .
She is the founder of CHICMom (formerly Detroit Moms Rock) 
and believes every mother should live a life on purpose!

A Mommy Minute with Jessica Byrd: God Knows Perfect Timing

 By: Jessica Byrd

God is really amazing! He knows our flaws, He knows our hearts and He's always right on time! I'm in the midst of starting a new career, and when I gave my previous job my two weeks notice, I had the option to go right back to work, or take those two weeks off. As tempting as it was to go straight back to work, I prayed ,and God told me to take a break. That was the best thing he could of ever told me. After I had my son, I went right back to work after only two weeks, and have been working ever since! Now, I'm on week two from my break and it has been an amazing relief.

I had time to actually spend the day time with my son, just me and him, since my daughter goes to school during the day. I almost cried watching my son play because I realized that our time together had been limited to after work hours and weekends. During this break, my son decided that he was ready to use the big boy potty! Perfect timing!

God knows everything there is to know about us. His timing is perfect, and we have to trust and believe that God always have our best interest at heart! It's easy to allow other things to lead us like money, but sometimes you just need a good break. I couldn't tell you the last time I had two weeks off, but what I can tell you is that it was something I desperately needed!

 When is the last time you had some time off? Are you overworking?! Do you have unused vacation days at work? If you can't take two weeks, start with ONE day. Vacation time doesn't always have to be used for trips, sometimes you need a day to just relax, be normal and enjoy the simplicity of life!

This weekend we went to ZooBoo, The Detroit Zoo’s annual “merry-not-scary” Halloween trick-or-treat trail through the front of the Zoo in Royal Oak, Mi. It was crowded and a bit overwhelming, but the children enjoyed it!

 
Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Detroit Moms Rock! and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

Raising A Family In Detroit: We Are Not Statistics!

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I saw an article about raising a family in Detroit in Metro Parent and it immediately hit home. I have been a Detroit Girl all my life; I’m even a product of the Detroit Public School system, and while I have a long way to go, I would like to say I'm on the right track. When I hear people negatively speak about Detroit I quickly jump into defense mode. It wasn't until I had children that I actually contemplated jumping the fence over to the suburbs. I still struggle with my decision but I know that I would only move out of Detroit to provide my children with an outstanding education. However, when I look back over the things I struggle with as an adult, it’s mostly family structure more than education. I know my mom did the best she could to provide for my brother and I, but we do learn from our parents and try to be even better parents. Here are some things I believe are essential for parents to do, particularly those living in inner cities such as Detroit that sometimes sets us apart as successful adults. 

1. Save for your children's education: I admit, I was that parent—fancy birthday parties every year, spending $300 for a two hour party for a toddler—that won't happen again for me as I quickly learned this was a mistake. I do believe in celebrating birthdays but it doesn't have to be so extravagant every year. Children just love being around their friends and I think the single best gift I can give my children is a tuition free education. That way, as an adult, they're not struggling with debt like I am. Now, I’m not saying everyone in Detroit is in debt and everyone living in the suburbs is debt free, this is just data from the majority and it seems that suburban communities have already grasped this concept.
2. Education is important but home is a priority. Yes, education is important but even if you send your children to top-of-the-line schools, I doesn’t matter if your home doesn’t have a loving, structured learning environment. The same goes for children attending public schools; there are very successful people that came form public schools but because their home environment also supplemented learning and taught them values, they were able to close the gap if it wasn't being offered in school. Parents are also teachers since learning doesn't stop at school. As parents, we need to implement homework times, discipline, structure, teach manners etc. The home is a child’s first classroom, so don't neglect it! 
3. Race does matter! Yes I said it! Everyone says race doesn't matter and that children don’t notice racial differences at a young age. I don't think race is as important as we make it, but, I do believe that children notice when they look different from everyone in their class. It's important we talk about race with our children and people who look different in general. We can't ignore race, especially not in today's society.  
4. Extra-curricular activities are important. We need to expose our children to activities that develop a sense of teamwork and discipline. Detroiters may not have access to the prestigious golf clubs, and tennis clubs but we still have access to recreational centers such as the YMCA in downtown Detroit that offer a lot of activities for toddlers and teens.
5. We don't have to be a statistic. Everyone raising their families in inner cities are not low income, or ignorant. Some people just believe in their city and support the progress in their current city. I have been raising my family in Detroit for almost three years and my home has never been broken into or anything of that sort. You don't have to be a statistic, we can teach our children different but it all starts with us.

Raising children is one of the single hardest things to do but as parents we have to make the best decisions for our children's longevity.

Join us on November 14th for our moms and finance workshop!!!  To learn some savings and finance tips!! 

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Detroit Moms Rock and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

  

Two Years of Marriage: What I've Learned

-->Today marks my 2^nd wedding anniversary, so it's only right I share my learning experiences. Marriage is not just Instagram and Facebook photos; it is a long-term commitment of forgiveness, compromise, and unconditional love! I'll be the first to admit when I first got married I didn't know all that was in store. I still had a selfish outlook on marriage and wanted everything to be about me; but God quickly showed me that marriage is no longer a ‘me’ attitude. In a two-year time span here’s what I’ve learned (plus much more) about being married, raising children, and finding a sense of self.

1. Every marriage is unique: I can't stress this enough. We tend to idolize someone else marriage forgetting that we’re different people. We are all unique individuals, what works for you may not work for someone else and vice versa. Don't compare your marriage, use that time to invest in your own marriage and work on things that need to change and don't just fuss at your mate, try working on yourself as well!!

2. Above everything, seek the kingdom of God first! This should have been number one because it should be the number one priority in your marriage. God is everything in your marriage—your counselor, your friend, and even someone to vent to. I learned this the hard way in the beginning, I wanted to share all my problems with friends and family and I was so frustrated but I learned that God gives the best advise. The best part is, he doesn't share your problems with anyone. My husband and I just recently started doing bible study together at home and I love it! Marriage is hard, you need God as your backbone! 

3. Your children are important but so is your husband! So again, I admit, I didn't always abide by this! Everything in the beginning was all about my children, I forgot about the other grown child at home (just kidding!) but seriously, men love attention and quality time too. While they might not say anything, believe me, they notice. Make time out for dates, trips etc. I know with children it can be difficult but even if it's enjoying a glass of wine together after you put the children to sleep, or watching a movie, find time to spend together!!!

4. Marriage is not a fairytale it's perseverance. I recently heard a quote from The Pope and it hit me like a ton of bricks! I'm a fairytale girl and I thought life was like the books and the movies. I had no idea about the amount of work I had to put in, in particular within myself. It's easy to put up with yourself but in a relationship, you have to work on things for the betterment of your partner. I surprised myself with my outlook on marriage and God showed me a lot about myself as a wife. Neither one of us is perfect but the one person I need to start with, is myself.

5. Make time for intimacy. Yes, I said it! Intimacy is important and sometimes the most over looked!! Make time to love each other—share a kiss out in public, hold hands while walking down the street. I always joke with my husband when I see a couple holding hands, I say, "Oh, they're in love!" You have committed to be with this person for the rest of your life, don't lose that spark! 

My husband and I celebrated our 2nd year anniversary in Miami! We had a good time! 

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

 

 

How My Children Taught Me Discipline and Structure

By: Jessica Byrd

Please let me begin with a disclaimer: my blog in no shape or form is suggesting that you need to have children for structure, this is just my experience.

Let me introduce you to my life before children. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and that was all to it. This spilled into my career as well, I knew I only had one person to take of which was me. So I never took work seriously, I came and gone as I please, my whole mindset was, "I'm not working in my desired career so whatever!" The max I would stay at a job was 1 year and it was an accomplishment if I made it that long.
I didn't work out, and I pretty much ate whatever I wanted, and going out was of the norm. Boy has my life changed!

Now let me be honest, at first I wasn't willing to accept my life wasn't the same. I wanted to do the same things and sometimes at night when my children were asleep and my husband was at work, resentment would come staring at me face to face.

After a while I started to embrace this new life and it really affected me in a positive way!  It took me literally two years to get structure within myself and it really does make for a more peaceful day. My mornings used to be my daughter waking me up, me rolling over super tired, leaving out for work and taking my daughter to school super late and talks with my boss about my hours.

Well.. My daughter started a new school and she has to be there on time for Circle Time,  this consequently helped me with structure. The reason I couldn't get up in the mornings was because I stayed up late enjoying my only "me time". Someone told me about working out in the mornings instead of after work when you can easily forget about it. I searched a boot camp Groupon and started working out at 5:45-6:30 am in the mornings, come home, make my daughter breakfast, and we"re out the door by 8:15. I found my "me time" in the mornings working out and plus I'm getting fit! Win win situation!


In addition, I had to learn proper eating habits for my children, so we rarely and I mean rarely eat fast food. I am now becoming best friends with the crock pot, and meal preparation during the week.

Weekends, both of my children have activities in the mornings so I have to develop a routine for Saturday mornings to get my daughter to dance at 9:45 and my son to soccer, starting in October.

I am really learning the importance of structure and structure takes discipline. This has really helped me personally because I am going from a always tired and exhausted mommy to learning about balance and preparation to be a happier mommy and wife. I'm still learning but as of now I am very pleased with myself, pats myself on the back (moms learn how to do that, there's no awards for this job!)

In other news: my daughter first week at her new school was amazing, she cried the first day and didn't cry since! My son will start the same school once he turns two.

 

Oh! Also, the devil has really been trying to get my family from going to church. It feels like every Sunday there is a roadblock! Not today I had the family up and out for church on time! Take that devil!

I can't wait for the Moms Club Meet and greet this Saturday!


 



Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

A Mommy Minute: Teaching Our Children About Faith And God

 By: Jessica Byrd

In a casual conversation with my friend we were discussing the characteristics of very well- mannered and successful individuals, we immediately focused on their childhood and the one thing we both agreed on was the importance of education, family support and faith. Yes, faith! Which proposed the question should we send our children to Christian based schools. My children are not attending Christian based schools only because I found a school that I believe was very keen on a childrens's education. I had a hard time finding a school that excelled in both areas and the one school I did find, a child couldn't attend until they turned 4.

Because I believe teaching faith and values at a young age is very important, I will supplement the teaching of faith at home. I found this great book on Christianbooks.com called Instant Bible Lessons for Preschoolers and I can't wait to start this curriculum with my children. It was only 9.99 and includes biblical teaching to teach your children values and morals while also teaching your children about God.

I will keep you guys posted about the lessons my little ones are learning!!!
Besides regular school lessons our children need to learn about faith, especially in today's time!

- This weekend, the children attended another barbecue with friends and enjoyed a Sunday brunch with family! Also my son learned how to climb out his crib which means a whole new set of problems!!!!

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

  

Being A Mother Doesn't Stop Your Dreams

By: Jessica Byrd

So many times I hear people say that being a mother caused them to put their dreams on hold. My heart drops when I hear this comment. Yes, I know being a mother causes us to not go full speed but to completely stop dreaming just makes me want to cry. I truly believe God is setting me up for a great blessing, and my life will become a testimony to many. So here’s my story.. While I was pregnant with my first child, I worked full time at Chase bank as a personal banker, I hated every minute and moment of my life at the time. Banking is a great career for some, but not for me! This was the first real job I knew I had to keep because I needed good insurance for my child, and a steady income. Everyday I went dressed to work dreading my purpose. I worked until I 9 months with child, I was tired, miserable, and wore out! But at the moment, I sacrificed my happiness for my soon to be daughter. Fast forward my daughter is born, and going back to work full time was not an option for me, I opted to work part time at Chase and it worked out perfect for my schedule.

A year later, I am pregnant with my son, still a personal banker, this time I was able to take some time off sooner than 9 months, due to my bedrest my doctor assigned for me. I was at risk for my pregnancy and my doctor felt my stress from work was having a negative impact on the proper growth of my son. Instead of actually going on bedrest, I used this time to intern two days a week. I was determined when I was pregnant with my son that I was not going back to doing something full time that I literally hated. I was determined to go after my goals, and I was determined it would work out in the end. I interned for no pay, and through the grace of God, he fulfilled all my needs. At the time, I had high hopes of being in the publishing career, and nothing was going to stop me. After my son was born, I left Chase, took another low paying part time job, and still interned for the Michigan Chronicle two days a week. All while having two children under two, I was determined. Yes, I had a huge support system! I let everyone know around me this was my decision and I had to do this for me. I was working events for my internship without pay, eight months pregnant. Yes, there was nights when I felt like I should be home with my children, mommy guilt had the best of me, however having a brighter future was important to me. I knew I had to do this for myself and better yet for my children. I am a strong believer of living a life on purpose!! When my internship ended, I wrote a proposal to my job to hire me, they told me they didn’t have any openings at the time. Therefore, I continued to work my low paying part time job. Exactly two weeks later, my internship called me and hired me as an contractor account executive. During my time as a contractor, I expressed my interest in event planning, and a year later I became a full time employee as the event coordinator for the Michigan Chronicle. My first big event was this month, The Men of Excellence!

This is an abbreviated story, but it shows my determination to succeed. There were many of hopeless nights, especially when I’m struggling, working hard, and my finances were based off of a part time gig.

I know I have a long way to go, and while I am still growing, still learning, and still developing my niche in my career path and surely not rich. I am wealthy by the grace of God, I know he is guiding my steps, and I know my future is bright!

Therefore as a mother never sell yourself short, go after your dreams, make it work for you, and  follow your heart. Yes our children are priority but live your best life possible!!!! Now In my current role, I still have time to spend with my children, I make sure I am at all my children’s activities, and I utilize my weekends for my children. My children are still my priority but I am not giving on myself in the process.

**Mom’s Club summer playdate was this weekend at Heritage Park and we had so much fun!!!!!

Make sure to like our facebook page!! https://www.facebook.com/mdmomsclub?ref=bookmarks

If you’re interested in joining the Moms Club our next meet and greet will be in September so make sure to send me an email.









Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

    

A Mommy Minute: Holding it all together…..For your children's sake!!

By Jessica Byrd

I promised myself when I started this blog, that it wouldn’t be filled of fluff stories. As a Christian I get asked plenty of times, and sometimes ask myself, Why does God allow terrible things to happen? The answer is far fetched and God unfortunately is not the God of this world Satin is. I must admit I have witnessed some strong mothers!!! I have witnessed and experienced mothers tearing down inside, but smiling around their children. Crying while their children are sleep, but make it their business to read a bedtime story every night. I will never forget the first time my two year old saw me cry, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer, and the tears came rolling down. “Mommy what’s wrong”, my daughter said in deep concern, “Mommy is sad Lailah” I responded. At first, I was so embarrassed, and I questioned what effect this may have on my child, seeing her MOMMY cry, because as a mother, the world wants us to suppress our feelings. We are the one person in the house who is supposed to have it all together..NEWSFLASH we don’t.  It really bothers me when people say you’re too emotional. Yes, not knowing how to control your emotions can have a negative effect, but I have realized having emotions is one of the greatest things about me. I hurt, I cry, I get sad, and yes I am emotional!! When my daughter saw me cry, it could've been one of the best bonding moments we’ve ever had. Right there in that moment I had to explain to a toddler what being sad means, and why she shouldn’t waste her tears just to get her way.

“Lailah people cry sometimes when they’re sad, sad means they can be hurt, and being hurt can cause pain, and that’s why some people may cry” I explained

“So mommy you hurt, you hurt mommy?” she responded

“Yes mommy is sad at this moment, that’s why you see tears, so why do you cry Lailah” I asked

“I don’t know” she answered

“It’s important to cry when you’re sad, and talk to mommy, not cry just because you want something” I remarked.

This conversation ended with a huge hug, and a understanding between a toddler and a 29 year old woman. Therefore, as parents we have to hold it together for our children, we are their examples, but we also have to have realistic expectations of ourselves. We don’t escape our children, we explain to our children. We are all people, we all have emotions, no matter if you’re a parent, a child, a grandparent, or a spouse.

** In other news the Outdoor Adventure Center located in 1802 Atwater, Michigan opened up today. I love their tagline, “ Bringing up North downtown” Think having an outdoor experience in an indoor environment, make sure to check it out and bring your children. There will be a Mom's Club playdate soon here also, so stay tuned!


 











 










  
Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

A Mommy Minute: Traveling with a Toddler

By: Jessica Byrd

I'm sure everyone enjoyed their Fourth of July weekend! This weekend my family and I decided to take our first family vacation to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina. We had a ball!! I was super nervous on the plane ride, which was a struggle for my one year old on the way there. The internet for some reason didn't work and he was just too active for a hour and a half plane ride with no iPad. It was a headache and I felt bad for the passengers around us.

On the way back i decided to look up some tips on traveling with a toddler and they worked! One tip that really worked was tiring your toddlers out before the plane ride so they are sleepy on the plane. That's exactly what I did! Instead of trying to keep my one-year-old in the stroller at the airport, I literally let him have a free for all! I let him run around by an open gate, play and look out the windows, and by the time we were on the plane he was super tired. As for my daughter I found a good movie on the tablet and she was all set!

As for the trip itself, we did everything from going to the water park, to going to the Aquarium, and to the beach -- we had so much fun. One thing I would say is make sure your little ones still get their naps. If they fell asleep in the car while we drove down to the beach, we let them catch up on their rest so they were full of energy for our next adventure (nothing is more stressful then a tired toddler!).

In other news I am so excited for The Mom's Club Summer Play Date coming up! If you're interested in attending make sure to send me an email!

 
Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose! 

Patience is Key

By: Jessica Byrd
 
I'm going to openly admit that I don't have the best of patience. It wasn't until I snapped on my son that I realized how important it is to have patience with your little ones. The day started off wrong. My son cried from the time he woke up to the time he was about to go to sleep! LITERALLY!! I was so overwhelmed and stressed at the moment and I allowed my low tolerance to get the best of me. I am now praying for patience and trying to work on having patience every day.

Here are some tips that help me with patience on days when my toddlers are out of hand.

1. Try to figure out what's wrong- Sometimes our children cry for no reason at all, other times it may be a lack of attention. I've noticed that sometimes my children just want a hug or some love. Going about our day trying to get our children in and out can sometimes make them feel unwanted, try to talk to your children and sneak in a hug or two even if you're having a busy day.

2. Find a good hide out place- Yes I said it! If you tried everything and realized your children are just having a bad day, give yourself a breather. I like to take a 5 minute time out in the bathroom to gather my thoughts, pray and re-enter the situation

3. Find some soothing music- It is nothing more irritating, to me, then a stressful car ride. One day my son cried the whole time in the car, I pulled over to soothe him but nothing worked. Then I put on some jazz and he calmed down and fell asleep, which brings me to the next point.

4. Try not to schedule things during your little ones nap time- It sucks but we are truly on their schedule especially the younger ones. I've found that doing things when they are normally napping becomes even more stressful!

5. Find your own inner peace- After a horrible day I like to write in my journal and collect my thoughts! Find something that is a stress reliever for you.

**My weekends seemed booked everyday these days. This weekend was full of more weddings and my children really enjoyed their self at their friends birthday party!

  
Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!