A Mommy Minute: Year End Review

By: Jessica Byrd

I love the holidays, particularly at  the end of the year. This time of year is so exciting! Most of us are preparing for the holiday and getting ready for a new year and this is when I look forward to new beginnings and do my own year end review to look over my past mistakes and lessons learned. Here are a couple things I've learned about life, parenthood, balance and so forth this year.

1. Each and every child is different and you have to treat them accordingly. My children are thirteen months apart, and although they're close in age, they are completely different. My daughter is self sufficient, my son is not. His whining used to bother me so much, and still does, but I had to realize that I can't compare my children, nor can I discipline them the same, or talk to them the same way. Through trial and error I've learned the importance of treating my children like individuals instead of a group. 
2.  Every relationship needs clear communication, and expectations to be clear. This was huge for me. Being a mother is important, and my marriage is the most important (yes it says this in the bible also.) A lot of arguments could of be avoided had we had clear communication. Same for friendships, we and in this case I, sometimes can place expectations on my friends and when they don't follow through, I'm upset. All of this must be communicated with every relationship you have. This was something huge I learned this year. 
3. Redirection is huge! So, I'll admit, I am big on discipline, but not everything needs a spanking. I learned the importance of redirection for my children, but I've also learned the difference between needing to use redirection and discipline. When my children are crying because they can't get their way it's no need to have a debate, young toddlers don't understand why they can't have something, which means you have to explain the reason to them and redirect your children to a "yes" !  
4. Patience! I have none, and the minute I asked God for patience, the more I was tested. I reworked my schedule sometimes to have more patience. As I mentioned before, waking up earlier in the mornings allows for more patience with your children. Same goes for life, preparation is huge in life and decreases a big rush. Preparation is key! 
5.  Pray till you can't pray anymore. I saved this for last but it is the most important. Although I consider myself to be a spiritual person,  prayer was something that I didn't do everyday. Life can get so busy, but prayer is important! Of Course we take our big issues to God but what about the small things. Praying for a good day, praying for your children safety while at school, praying you make good sound decisions. Recently, I've started my days off with prayer and it helps!

**This weekend was my daughter first dance recital, she did so good and loved every bit of it!!

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of CHICMoms (formerly Detroit Moms Rock) and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

Being A Mother Doesn't Stop Your Dreams

By: Jessica Byrd

So many times I hear people say that being a mother caused them to put their dreams on hold. My heart drops when I hear this comment. Yes, I know being a mother causes us to not go full speed but to completely stop dreaming just makes me want to cry. I truly believe God is setting me up for a great blessing, and my life will become a testimony to many. So here’s my story.. While I was pregnant with my first child, I worked full time at Chase bank as a personal banker, I hated every minute and moment of my life at the time. Banking is a great career for some, but not for me! This was the first real job I knew I had to keep because I needed good insurance for my child, and a steady income. Everyday I went dressed to work dreading my purpose. I worked until I 9 months with child, I was tired, miserable, and wore out! But at the moment, I sacrificed my happiness for my soon to be daughter. Fast forward my daughter is born, and going back to work full time was not an option for me, I opted to work part time at Chase and it worked out perfect for my schedule.

A year later, I am pregnant with my son, still a personal banker, this time I was able to take some time off sooner than 9 months, due to my bedrest my doctor assigned for me. I was at risk for my pregnancy and my doctor felt my stress from work was having a negative impact on the proper growth of my son. Instead of actually going on bedrest, I used this time to intern two days a week. I was determined when I was pregnant with my son that I was not going back to doing something full time that I literally hated. I was determined to go after my goals, and I was determined it would work out in the end. I interned for no pay, and through the grace of God, he fulfilled all my needs. At the time, I had high hopes of being in the publishing career, and nothing was going to stop me. After my son was born, I left Chase, took another low paying part time job, and still interned for the Michigan Chronicle two days a week. All while having two children under two, I was determined. Yes, I had a huge support system! I let everyone know around me this was my decision and I had to do this for me. I was working events for my internship without pay, eight months pregnant. Yes, there was nights when I felt like I should be home with my children, mommy guilt had the best of me, however having a brighter future was important to me. I knew I had to do this for myself and better yet for my children. I am a strong believer of living a life on purpose!! When my internship ended, I wrote a proposal to my job to hire me, they told me they didn’t have any openings at the time. Therefore, I continued to work my low paying part time job. Exactly two weeks later, my internship called me and hired me as an contractor account executive. During my time as a contractor, I expressed my interest in event planning, and a year later I became a full time employee as the event coordinator for the Michigan Chronicle. My first big event was this month, The Men of Excellence!

This is an abbreviated story, but it shows my determination to succeed. There were many of hopeless nights, especially when I’m struggling, working hard, and my finances were based off of a part time gig.

I know I have a long way to go, and while I am still growing, still learning, and still developing my niche in my career path and surely not rich. I am wealthy by the grace of God, I know he is guiding my steps, and I know my future is bright!

Therefore as a mother never sell yourself short, go after your dreams, make it work for you, and  follow your heart. Yes our children are priority but live your best life possible!!!! Now In my current role, I still have time to spend with my children, I make sure I am at all my children’s activities, and I utilize my weekends for my children. My children are still my priority but I am not giving on myself in the process.

**Mom’s Club summer playdate was this weekend at Heritage Park and we had so much fun!!!!!

Make sure to like our facebook page!! https://www.facebook.com/mdmomsclub?ref=bookmarks

If you’re interested in joining the Moms Club our next meet and greet will be in September so make sure to send me an email.









Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

    

Loving yourself first - My story!!

         By: Jessica Byrd

          So for those who have been following the Mommy Minute for quite some time will know all of my post have been about motherhood, parenting, and our children. This week I decided to focus on us as mothers!!!! One thing I have truly learned is to be the best parent you can be, you have to truly learn how to be the best you!! So here’s my story, before I got married I had extremely low-self esteem, I am not sure where it stemmed from but it really did some damage on myself, my relationships, and my friendships.

         I always needed validation, and became very concerned about what others thought about me. Secret is once I got married, this low self-esteem still lingered on. I had to really teach myself how to love myself first!! I know alot of mothers may struggle with this, especially when we have to always put people before us. I taught myself to speak affirmations to myself as often as I could, I taught myself to not compare myself to anyone else, because we all have our own story. I am still learning how to have quality time with myself. I am learning that I am truly just as important as anyone else. I am learning myself more and more everyday, and it is so liberating. Finally I am at a point where I’m growing, developing from the bad, and appreciating the good!! Key thing is I am doing this all while I’m a mother, and married. Lastly, one big misconception that I don’t find to be true, “you have to have yourself together first” I hear this way too often, you must have yourself together before you become a mother, or before you become a wife. Honestly, no one is truly “all together” we all have flaws, and learning to do.  My children have taught me so much about myself, I’m not sure I would of knew otherwise, same goes for my marriage!!

           Maybe you’re not struggling with low self-esteem, maybe it’s something else. I challenge mothers for this month to focus on yourself, becoming a better you. Change is good, so start now!!

**This weekend we spent our Father’s Day at River Days in downtown Detroit. The children had a great time in the bounce house, getting their arm painted, and doing arts and crafts. My husband also took my daughter on the giant slide, and I nearly fainted.

 

  



Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

  

5 Life lessons I am learning from being a parent

By: Jessica Byrd

There is no better joy than being a parent. You have some great days, you have some exhausting days, you have joyful days, and you have some stressful days. Being a parent is a forever learning job, but most importantly being a parent can teach you some life lessons. Here are five lessons that I’ve learned so far from being a parent.

1. Patience is something we may not all have but something we all need. I can admit I don’t have the most patience. When I want things to happen, I want it to happen on my terms. (God is working with me) But there are many times when i’m trying to teach patience to my children. Patience to sit at the table and wait for dinner to be served without having to be entertained by the phone. Patience when learning something new. My daughter will sometimes say, “Mommy I can’t do it by myself” I am teaching her to remove can’t from her vocabulary and to have patience with herself when she is learning something.

  Other times, I catch myself losing patience, especially with potty training. Many times I

have to ask God for patience because waiting will teach you so much. It will also help

you make the best decisions. Another thing we need patience with is enjoying life, and

enjoying the moment, without rushing through life like it’s a race.

2.       Love is the single one thing that is free but worth so much. My children need so  

         much love it is crazy, yet I can tell between the days when I am giving my children my

         undivided attention, and the days where I am trying to multitask. Love is free, and yet we

         as people lack love so much. People are hurting from lack of love, and while society tries

         to filter this with quick fixes, it all boils down to love. Take the time out to truly show and

         appreciate those you love.

3.       It's true, what you feed yourself really does affect your life. Recently I decided to go

         on a one week fast. I didn’t listen to secular music, drink pop (I loveeee pop), and I tried to

         listen to a sermon a day, as well as read my daily devotionals. The day after my fast, my

         attitude quickly changed. I was negative, and upset, I finally put it into perspective that

         what you expose yourself to has a direct effect to your outlook. Same with our children, as

         parents it is our job to expose our children to positive environments, but it all starts with  

         us and our perspective at home.

4.     Criticism, as well as Discipline, helps you grow. I really don’t like discipling my children,

       afterwards I feel awful, however I know it is something my children need. I am here to

       teach them right from wrong, I am here to help them steer through life, I am here to help

       them make good decisions and to do so, Discipline is needed! No matter what your disciplinary strategy

       is, it is our roles as parents to enforce values and rules.  Same with being an adult,

       criticism from our friends, our job, our spouses, and our parents helps us grow to be

       individuals. We need constructive criticism to develop and succeed. Make sure there are

       people around you who will talk to you and not AT you - there is a huge difference.

A person that genuinely wants to help you grow will be able to openly tell you about your weaknesses and strengths, without trying to belittle you as a person.

5. Trust. Yes my children have taught me how to trust. This has been a huge struggle for me. One thing a pastor said that resonated so closely to me was, “ When you have been let down so much you develop trust issues and you don’t trust anyone” WOW!! I have a bad trust problem, but my children are teaching me this. I am not able to be around my children 24/7. When my daughter started school, I would visit her on my lunch break, and call the school for a daily update. My children are teaching me how to truly trust God, and trust my instincts when they are not in my care. Even better, my children are helping me learn that importance of letting your guard down and not thinking it’s you against the world.

** This weekend, we spent a Saturday at home, playing outside and enjoying the simplicity of life. While I made plans to go to the zoo Saturday, we stayed at home instead, took a walk, ate ice cream and my son played with his new bike. I truly enjoyed a day of no plans!!

In other news, The Moms Club will be having our summer play date July 25th. Think outside, water, picnic, and lots of fun! If interested in attending please send me an email!!



Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!