Loving yourself first - My story!!

         By: Jessica Byrd

          So for those who have been following the Mommy Minute for quite some time will know all of my post have been about motherhood, parenting, and our children. This week I decided to focus on us as mothers!!!! One thing I have truly learned is to be the best parent you can be, you have to truly learn how to be the best you!! So here’s my story, before I got married I had extremely low-self esteem, I am not sure where it stemmed from but it really did some damage on myself, my relationships, and my friendships.

         I always needed validation, and became very concerned about what others thought about me. Secret is once I got married, this low self-esteem still lingered on. I had to really teach myself how to love myself first!! I know alot of mothers may struggle with this, especially when we have to always put people before us. I taught myself to speak affirmations to myself as often as I could, I taught myself to not compare myself to anyone else, because we all have our own story. I am still learning how to have quality time with myself. I am learning that I am truly just as important as anyone else. I am learning myself more and more everyday, and it is so liberating. Finally I am at a point where I’m growing, developing from the bad, and appreciating the good!! Key thing is I am doing this all while I’m a mother, and married. Lastly, one big misconception that I don’t find to be true, “you have to have yourself together first” I hear this way too often, you must have yourself together before you become a mother, or before you become a wife. Honestly, no one is truly “all together” we all have flaws, and learning to do.  My children have taught me so much about myself, I’m not sure I would of knew otherwise, same goes for my marriage!!

           Maybe you’re not struggling with low self-esteem, maybe it’s something else. I challenge mothers for this month to focus on yourself, becoming a better you. Change is good, so start now!!

**This weekend we spent our Father’s Day at River Days in downtown Detroit. The children had a great time in the bounce house, getting their arm painted, and doing arts and crafts. My husband also took my daughter on the giant slide, and I nearly fainted.

 

  



Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

  

The Mom's Club: Workshop

If you Google “what makes a good entrepreneur” you’ll find pages and pages of articles describing in great detail the habits, business practices, money handling skills etc. of a business owner complete with examples, charts and diagrams painting the picture of the perfect entrepreneur. Most (if not all) of these articles conclude with the promise that by following those steps, adopting those behaviors and habits, and putting those business practices to use, you’ll become the next small business man/woman turned millionaire. But there’s one thing these articles didn’t include as an ideal attribute of an entrepreneur: being a mom. Many will agree that when considering the qualifications of a CEO, having children is rarely considered as a plus, but more as a hindrance. More often than not, women feel that they have too separate their motherhood from their professional life but there are a select group of women who beg to differ—Momprenuers.

Jesssica Byrd, Founder of The Mom's Club

The A Team caught up with Jessica Byrd, a local Momprenuer who found her passion as a working mom and founded a new organization in Detroit, Michigan called The Mom’s Club. Jessica says she created The Mom’s Club to interact with young professional mothers and provide them with the tools, necessities, and environment to better raise their children. Jessica hosted her first annual Mom’s Club Workshop this past weekend at The Garden Theatre and it was an amazing experience. 

Our host, Ambrea Curry spoke with Jessica before the workshop began to find out more about The Mom’s Club and what we could expect from the workshop. Despite her pre-event jitters Jessica was more than excited about her first Mom’s Club Workshop experience mainly because of the speakers, Loretta Morman who she felt the women could easily relate to and Dr. Eddie Connor Jr. who she described as the perfect gentleman to speak to women with sons. Jessica’s hopes for The Mom’s Club Workshop were that the women could take the information provided and grow as individuals but especially as parents, “If I can save a mother, then this event was a success." 

The workshop focused on talking to children about self-esteem, peer pressure and identity and the first guest speaker, Loretta Morman, author of Hello My Name is BEAUTIFUL, empowerment speaker, etiquette teacher and counselor for young girls, dove right in with great tips for raising a strong woman emphasizing that, “A strong woman creates a stronger society.” Morman encouraged the moms in attendance to be real with themselves and their daughters about the issues you face as a woman trying to find your way through life. She also spoke passionately about how important it is that Moms don’t pretend everything is okay when it isn’t in attempt to protect their daughters from what may seem like a harsh reality.

To conclude her presentation, Loretta also gave the Moms some positive behaviors to practice with their daughters like affirmations, “I Am” statements and teaching them empathy. To conclude, Loretta urged the Moms to get to know their daughters and give them room to become what they want to become in life and not what we (moms) want them to become; she left them with the reminder that, “God gave you your child to raise, not control.”

The next guest speaker was Dr. Eddie Connor Jr., college professor, international speaker, author of five books, and founder of the Boys to Books mentorship program. He gave a powerful presentation on the importance of literacy, how a young man can reach his purpose and how to counteract the negative image of the Black Man in the media. He shared with the Moms his amazing story of coming from a divorced home in Detroit and battling stage four Cancer to becoming the successful man that stood in front of us. Out of the entire workshop a powerful moment occurred when Dr. Connor called up two young men in the audience and gave them what every young man needs:

1.     A book - because we all know what they say about a black man and a book.

2.      A wallet – “to understand investment and money management.”

3.      A belt – “to hold up sagging pants and sagging dreams/goals.”

4.      A watch- to understand that “time is NOT money” and once its gone— it’s gone.

5.     A Tie – to remind them that they are “tied to success”.

6.     A Mentor – because “you cannot be a man if you don’t see a man.”

Dr. Eddie Connor Jr. inspired the Moms to raise young men of standard even if there isn’t a father present.

            I am not a mother myself but the discussions, presentations, exercises and information shared during the workshop from the guest speakers as well as the participating Moms sounded like ideal advice for raising a child in today’s society as well as a great foundation for future child rearing. This workshop was one of many monthly activities including a Mommy Meet & Greet and a Play Date that took place at the Detroit Science Center; next on the agenda for The Mom’s Club is a Mommy’s Day Out. If you would like to become a part of The Mom’s Club and participate in activities like these with Moms like you, contact Jessica Byrd (mrsjessicamarieb@gmail.com) for your membership application!

Here are some extra shots from The Mom's Club Workshop! To see more photos as well as the full interview with Amrea and Jessica, subscribe to The A Team Talks Show YouTube Channel!
-Ayana

Check out the interview here.