A Mommy Minute: Year End Review

By: Jessica Byrd

I love the holidays, particularly at  the end of the year. This time of year is so exciting! Most of us are preparing for the holiday and getting ready for a new year and this is when I look forward to new beginnings and do my own year end review to look over my past mistakes and lessons learned. Here are a couple things I've learned about life, parenthood, balance and so forth this year.

1. Each and every child is different and you have to treat them accordingly. My children are thirteen months apart, and although they're close in age, they are completely different. My daughter is self sufficient, my son is not. His whining used to bother me so much, and still does, but I had to realize that I can't compare my children, nor can I discipline them the same, or talk to them the same way. Through trial and error I've learned the importance of treating my children like individuals instead of a group. 
2.  Every relationship needs clear communication, and expectations to be clear. This was huge for me. Being a mother is important, and my marriage is the most important (yes it says this in the bible also.) A lot of arguments could of be avoided had we had clear communication. Same for friendships, we and in this case I, sometimes can place expectations on my friends and when they don't follow through, I'm upset. All of this must be communicated with every relationship you have. This was something huge I learned this year. 
3. Redirection is huge! So, I'll admit, I am big on discipline, but not everything needs a spanking. I learned the importance of redirection for my children, but I've also learned the difference between needing to use redirection and discipline. When my children are crying because they can't get their way it's no need to have a debate, young toddlers don't understand why they can't have something, which means you have to explain the reason to them and redirect your children to a "yes" !  
4. Patience! I have none, and the minute I asked God for patience, the more I was tested. I reworked my schedule sometimes to have more patience. As I mentioned before, waking up earlier in the mornings allows for more patience with your children. Same goes for life, preparation is huge in life and decreases a big rush. Preparation is key! 
5.  Pray till you can't pray anymore. I saved this for last but it is the most important. Although I consider myself to be a spiritual person,  prayer was something that I didn't do everyday. Life can get so busy, but prayer is important! Of Course we take our big issues to God but what about the small things. Praying for a good day, praying for your children safety while at school, praying you make good sound decisions. Recently, I've started my days off with prayer and it helps!

**This weekend was my daughter first dance recital, she did so good and loved every bit of it!!

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of CHICMoms (formerly Detroit Moms Rock) and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

5 Steps To A Better Financial Future

Since we have almost 2 months left in 2015, I want to do a pulse check to see where you are. Did you set goals in January to help guide you throughout this year? If so, how did you do?  If you aren't where you want to be, then there is still time to start over and take some critical steps towards achieving a better financial future. 

By: Aisha Taylor

Step 1.  Determine your why. Your why is your reason for making the decision to do something different. Making changes in your life, behavior, and habits takes work. Having a strong why will help motivate you to keep going and make the necessary sacrifices to have the life you really want. 

Step 2.  Create your financial blueprint. Creating a financial blueprint consists of a budget and a strategy to achieve your goals. Look at your current bill structure and then determine if there are areas to cut.  Also, look at monthly subscriptions and charges to see if you need them of if they can be modified. Also, identify ways that you can increase your income to achieve your goals faster. 

Step 3.  Understand and strategize around your blind spots. Your blind spots are areas in your spending that you don't notice.  For example, you may buy a lunch everyday without thinking twice.  This is why it is so important to track everything that you spend. This will help you to identify and quantify the items that you buy out of habit. Understanding this will help you to determine what you should keep it cut to be more intentional about how you spend your money. 

Step 4.  Grab a friend. Similar to a gym buddy, embarking on a new journey is more fun with a friend. Remember we are more likely to break our promises to ourselves rather than other people.  Let your friends know that you want their support to help to hold you accountable towards achieving your goals. Then, ask them to participate with you.  

Step 5.  Have fun responsibly. You don't live to work; you work to live. There is nothing wrong with having fun; just do it responsibly. Include items in your budget that are fun and bring you happiness. If you want to have your morning latte then get it. Just make sure that it is included in your budget. Figure out the things that give you the greatest value and then make room for it in your budget without sacrificing your goals and priorities. 

Now that you are equipped with simple tasks to build a better financial future, you can start now.  Don't wait until January because everyday that you wait is another day that you spend not working on creating your ideal life. 

Be sure to leave a comment to let me know what you will do next. 

If you want more tips and resources, download your FREE Hotsheet that will show you the best online savings sites and apps!  Click here to download!

Aisha Taylor is a #1 Amazon Best Selling Author of the book “5+5 FNPhenomenal Ways to Save $100 This Week Without Killing Your Lifestyle”, the Founder of FNPhenomenal (Frugal –n- Phenomenal), and creator of The Live Phenomenal Program. The Live Phenomenal Program is a program designed to give you the tools that you need to totally transform your finances, and stop living from paycheck-to-paycheck. It’s time for you to be Financially Phenomenal! Book your complimentary 20-minute financial clarity session with Aisha here.

BIO

Aisha Taylor, the founder of  Frugal-n-Phenomenal (FNPhenomenal),  is a financial freedom expert who brings a modern and fresh twist to wealth consciousness.

 As the founder of FNPhenomenal she has dedicated her life to building up others and equipping them with the knowledge and resources to be true and legendary change agents within their communities. FNPhenomenal helps women break the vicious cycle of bad money habits by providing them with simple “Every Day Living Principles” that will show them how to live frugally yet phenomenally.

Aisha holds Bachelor degrees in Public Policy and Economics from Duke University and Master’s degrees in Business Administration and Health Services Administration from the University of Michigan. Aisha is also a license and certified Financial Planner.   Prior to launching her company FNPhenomenal, she spent years working in Corporate America as Senior Financial Analyst where she gained experience in business development, budgets & forecasting, creating and  developing financial reports, financial model development, contract analysis, profit and loss statement management, and revenue/profit strategy optimization.  She has also had the opportunity to work as a project manager where she was instrumental in restructuring the accounting processes for many governmental grants.

To learn more about FNPhenomenal and how they can serve you or your group, please visit their website at www.FNPhenomenal.com or email the FNPhenomenal team at aishataylor@fnphenomenal.com.

Connect with Aisha at:

www.FNPhenomenal.com

Instagram/Twitter/Facebook: @FNPhenomenal

info@fnphenomenal.com

A Mommy Minute with Jessica Byrd: God Knows Perfect Timing

 By: Jessica Byrd

God is really amazing! He knows our flaws, He knows our hearts and He's always right on time! I'm in the midst of starting a new career, and when I gave my previous job my two weeks notice, I had the option to go right back to work, or take those two weeks off. As tempting as it was to go straight back to work, I prayed ,and God told me to take a break. That was the best thing he could of ever told me. After I had my son, I went right back to work after only two weeks, and have been working ever since! Now, I'm on week two from my break and it has been an amazing relief.

I had time to actually spend the day time with my son, just me and him, since my daughter goes to school during the day. I almost cried watching my son play because I realized that our time together had been limited to after work hours and weekends. During this break, my son decided that he was ready to use the big boy potty! Perfect timing!

God knows everything there is to know about us. His timing is perfect, and we have to trust and believe that God always have our best interest at heart! It's easy to allow other things to lead us like money, but sometimes you just need a good break. I couldn't tell you the last time I had two weeks off, but what I can tell you is that it was something I desperately needed!

 When is the last time you had some time off? Are you overworking?! Do you have unused vacation days at work? If you can't take two weeks, start with ONE day. Vacation time doesn't always have to be used for trips, sometimes you need a day to just relax, be normal and enjoy the simplicity of life!

This weekend we went to ZooBoo, The Detroit Zoo’s annual “merry-not-scary” Halloween trick-or-treat trail through the front of the Zoo in Royal Oak, Mi. It was crowded and a bit overwhelming, but the children enjoyed it!

 
Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Detroit Moms Rock! and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

A Mommy Minute: Trying to understanding your child’s tantrums

By:Jessica Byrd

First let me admit, I am not an expert in parenting, I am just a mother learning the ins and out of parenting as I read, and through trial and error. Discipling  is something that is so hard for me. If I spank my child I feel awful afterwards, if I yell, my children burst out into tears, so most of the time I was left losing many battles. That was then. I found it important to first try to understand my children’s tantrums, to understand how to discipline them accordingly. With my daughter there is a tantrum every morning she can’t wear a dress. This little girls love dresses, it used to stress me out, If I say no Lailah you’re not wearing a dress today, she would literally throw a fit. How do you spank a child for this??!! What it all boils down to is that she couldn’t get her way, and she doesn’t properly know how to address those feelings. At first, It was because mommy said so. Now I have to explain to my child why sometimes pants are a better fit for the day. Conversations usually go like this, “you don’t want to wear your pretty dress in the rain do you”, “you don’t want to play in your pretty dress outside,” and it goes on. Yes, this is a real live issue I have with my daughter she is obsessed with dresses.

A lot of times when she is frustrated she like to turn into a baby to get attention. Now this is something I have zero tolerance for. At this point it is no talking, I direct her to time-out and tell her to come see mommy she’s ready to communicate and talk to mommy like a big girl. This works wonders!! She will sit in time out, sometimes cry for  a second, realizes she is getting no attention, and 7 times out of 10, says mommy I’m ready to be a big girl. My eyes light up, and I say GREAT! Mommy likes when you’re a big girl!

When we’re out in public and she wants things her way, I usually take her in the bathroom get down to her level and talk about the situation, most times she comes out a happy camper, sometimes it doesn’t work. I try my best not to spank, but sometimes this child can truly test me!! Those girls!!

My son is pretty chill, but he’s in this throwing stage and it drives me insane!! If he gets mad he throws, most of the time I explain to him he doesn’t throw, and that didn’t work a bit. This week, I am starting time outs. I will keep you guys posted on how that works.

I have really learned the importance of understanding the cause of your child’s tantrums, this can help you understand the appropriate disciplinary measures you should take.

As promised, I have found a school for my children. Tune into next week and I share my journey in choosing the right school for my children!

Also if you’re interested in joining The Mom’s Club we will be having a Meet and Greet in September.

** This weekend, I had a break!!  On Saturday, my children went with their grandparents on and I enjoyed a night with friends!! Much needed!


Happy Monday Loves!! Lailah and I on the way to school. Yes she’s wearing a dress ...lol  




Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

 

A Mommy Minute: Holding it all together…..For your children's sake!!

By Jessica Byrd

I promised myself when I started this blog, that it wouldn’t be filled of fluff stories. As a Christian I get asked plenty of times, and sometimes ask myself, Why does God allow terrible things to happen? The answer is far fetched and God unfortunately is not the God of this world Satin is. I must admit I have witnessed some strong mothers!!! I have witnessed and experienced mothers tearing down inside, but smiling around their children. Crying while their children are sleep, but make it their business to read a bedtime story every night. I will never forget the first time my two year old saw me cry, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer, and the tears came rolling down. “Mommy what’s wrong”, my daughter said in deep concern, “Mommy is sad Lailah” I responded. At first, I was so embarrassed, and I questioned what effect this may have on my child, seeing her MOMMY cry, because as a mother, the world wants us to suppress our feelings. We are the one person in the house who is supposed to have it all together..NEWSFLASH we don’t.  It really bothers me when people say you’re too emotional. Yes, not knowing how to control your emotions can have a negative effect, but I have realized having emotions is one of the greatest things about me. I hurt, I cry, I get sad, and yes I am emotional!! When my daughter saw me cry, it could've been one of the best bonding moments we’ve ever had. Right there in that moment I had to explain to a toddler what being sad means, and why she shouldn’t waste her tears just to get her way.

“Lailah people cry sometimes when they’re sad, sad means they can be hurt, and being hurt can cause pain, and that’s why some people may cry” I explained

“So mommy you hurt, you hurt mommy?” she responded

“Yes mommy is sad at this moment, that’s why you see tears, so why do you cry Lailah” I asked

“I don’t know” she answered

“It’s important to cry when you’re sad, and talk to mommy, not cry just because you want something” I remarked.

This conversation ended with a huge hug, and a understanding between a toddler and a 29 year old woman. Therefore, as parents we have to hold it together for our children, we are their examples, but we also have to have realistic expectations of ourselves. We don’t escape our children, we explain to our children. We are all people, we all have emotions, no matter if you’re a parent, a child, a grandparent, or a spouse.

** In other news the Outdoor Adventure Center located in 1802 Atwater, Michigan opened up today. I love their tagline, “ Bringing up North downtown” Think having an outdoor experience in an indoor environment, make sure to check it out and bring your children. There will be a Mom's Club playdate soon here also, so stay tuned!


 











 










  
Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

Don’t Complain About Construction.

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By: Ayana Bryant-Weekes

I took an (impromptu) ride through downtown Detroit the other day. Most days I wouldn’t mind taking a spur-of-the-moment trip through the city— Detroit is a beautiful place, especially at dusk when the sun is setting and the city lights are beginning to shine a little brighter—however, as we drove deeper and deeper into the epicenter of my hometown, I could not get past my overwhelming irritation with all the construction going on around me. Construction was the reason we were forced to take the “scenic route” through downtown in the first place and now that we’re in the heart of this beautiful place, all I can see is orange and white construction barrels, gravel, dust, detour signs and signs that warned of a $1,500 fine if I killed any construction workers and I kept thinking, “I am SO sick of construction.”

There is literally construction EVERYWHERE in Detroit and surrounding cities right now—on freeways, downtown, in my housing complex—it seems like everything is happening at one time and because of all this construction, the traffic flow, at anytime of day, is dreadful. An impromptu trip through downtown Detroit (because of construction) was made even worse by slow moving traffic on major streets! I sat in the back seat of the car vexed, trying to contain my anguish as I looked out the window surveying miles of construction while we slow-rolled down Woodward Ave. I got fed up with looking at all the commotion and decided to divert my attention to a completely different direction.

As we continued our Woodward Ave. slow-roll I started to point out new restaurants and hangout spots that I had been to, new places I had heard about, planned to visit and some places I had never even seen. My thoughts wandered from being irritated to making mental notes of what’s new to do downtown. It dawned on me that at one point these new places were construction sites, the places I was making plans to visit were once the bane of my irritation but now, as a finished product these places would be the source of good times and an energetic city.

Even in our personal lives when it seems like change is more overwhelming than inspiring because there is so much going on at one time and you feel as though you aren’t making very much progress, consider construction as a symbol of completion…in the near future, at least. Though these numerous construction sites are serving as an inconvenience right now, the promise of safe roads, new businesses, restaurants and hangout spots and the beginning of a new mass transit system, serve as an incentive to remain optimistic.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s loathes running into traffic jams and construction blocks but if we could learn to anticipate what is to come, you can use positivity to appreciate construction instead of complaining while you sit in traffic.

The Imitation of Life

By: Ayana Bryant-Weekes 

I look for God in nature, that's just one of the ways I remind myself that God is the ultimate artist. From the color changes of the leaves in the fall to the individual granules of sand on the beach, the artistry of our Creator is everywhere.

 There was a trend on Tumblr a while back called the Body Comparitive. It took attributes of the human body and compared them to elements of nature. For example, the comparison of a pregnant woman's stretch marks to Stratocumulus clouds or the design of a bruise to the design of a galaxy. You can tell from the images below that God's creativity in nature doesn't exclude our own brilliant designs.

For this post,  I took the Body Comparitive theory a step further. If God's creativity manifests through the creation of nature and echoes his creation of humanity, then what does that say about the things that we create? There has always been a question of whether art imitates life or life imitates art, and I'd like to propose that the two have a corresponding relationship. We receive inspiration through nature's effect on our 5 senses and then create (in whatever way we are blessed to create) a work of art that subsequently echos the artistry of God.

Below are some pictures I came across that exemplify this relationship between life and art. 

Hope you enjoy!

Chanel Runways 2008-2015

  The Colorful Cemeteries of Guatemala 

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Fashion inspired by nature 

5 Life lessons I am learning from being a parent

By: Jessica Byrd

There is no better joy than being a parent. You have some great days, you have some exhausting days, you have joyful days, and you have some stressful days. Being a parent is a forever learning job, but most importantly being a parent can teach you some life lessons. Here are five lessons that I’ve learned so far from being a parent.

1. Patience is something we may not all have but something we all need. I can admit I don’t have the most patience. When I want things to happen, I want it to happen on my terms. (God is working with me) But there are many times when i’m trying to teach patience to my children. Patience to sit at the table and wait for dinner to be served without having to be entertained by the phone. Patience when learning something new. My daughter will sometimes say, “Mommy I can’t do it by myself” I am teaching her to remove can’t from her vocabulary and to have patience with herself when she is learning something.

  Other times, I catch myself losing patience, especially with potty training. Many times I

have to ask God for patience because waiting will teach you so much. It will also help

you make the best decisions. Another thing we need patience with is enjoying life, and

enjoying the moment, without rushing through life like it’s a race.

2.       Love is the single one thing that is free but worth so much. My children need so  

         much love it is crazy, yet I can tell between the days when I am giving my children my

         undivided attention, and the days where I am trying to multitask. Love is free, and yet we

         as people lack love so much. People are hurting from lack of love, and while society tries

         to filter this with quick fixes, it all boils down to love. Take the time out to truly show and

         appreciate those you love.

3.       It's true, what you feed yourself really does affect your life. Recently I decided to go

         on a one week fast. I didn’t listen to secular music, drink pop (I loveeee pop), and I tried to

         listen to a sermon a day, as well as read my daily devotionals. The day after my fast, my

         attitude quickly changed. I was negative, and upset, I finally put it into perspective that

         what you expose yourself to has a direct effect to your outlook. Same with our children, as

         parents it is our job to expose our children to positive environments, but it all starts with  

         us and our perspective at home.

4.     Criticism, as well as Discipline, helps you grow. I really don’t like discipling my children,

       afterwards I feel awful, however I know it is something my children need. I am here to

       teach them right from wrong, I am here to help them steer through life, I am here to help

       them make good decisions and to do so, Discipline is needed! No matter what your disciplinary strategy

       is, it is our roles as parents to enforce values and rules.  Same with being an adult,

       criticism from our friends, our job, our spouses, and our parents helps us grow to be

       individuals. We need constructive criticism to develop and succeed. Make sure there are

       people around you who will talk to you and not AT you - there is a huge difference.

A person that genuinely wants to help you grow will be able to openly tell you about your weaknesses and strengths, without trying to belittle you as a person.

5. Trust. Yes my children have taught me how to trust. This has been a huge struggle for me. One thing a pastor said that resonated so closely to me was, “ When you have been let down so much you develop trust issues and you don’t trust anyone” WOW!! I have a bad trust problem, but my children are teaching me this. I am not able to be around my children 24/7. When my daughter started school, I would visit her on my lunch break, and call the school for a daily update. My children are teaching me how to truly trust God, and trust my instincts when they are not in my care. Even better, my children are helping me learn that importance of letting your guard down and not thinking it’s you against the world.

** This weekend, we spent a Saturday at home, playing outside and enjoying the simplicity of life. While I made plans to go to the zoo Saturday, we stayed at home instead, took a walk, ate ice cream and my son played with his new bike. I truly enjoyed a day of no plans!!

In other news, The Moms Club will be having our summer play date July 25th. Think outside, water, picnic, and lots of fun! If interested in attending please send me an email!!



Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!