A Mommy Minute: Year End Review

By: Jessica Byrd

I love the holidays, particularly at  the end of the year. This time of year is so exciting! Most of us are preparing for the holiday and getting ready for a new year and this is when I look forward to new beginnings and do my own year end review to look over my past mistakes and lessons learned. Here are a couple things I've learned about life, parenthood, balance and so forth this year.

1. Each and every child is different and you have to treat them accordingly. My children are thirteen months apart, and although they're close in age, they are completely different. My daughter is self sufficient, my son is not. His whining used to bother me so much, and still does, but I had to realize that I can't compare my children, nor can I discipline them the same, or talk to them the same way. Through trial and error I've learned the importance of treating my children like individuals instead of a group. 
2.  Every relationship needs clear communication, and expectations to be clear. This was huge for me. Being a mother is important, and my marriage is the most important (yes it says this in the bible also.) A lot of arguments could of be avoided had we had clear communication. Same for friendships, we and in this case I, sometimes can place expectations on my friends and when they don't follow through, I'm upset. All of this must be communicated with every relationship you have. This was something huge I learned this year. 
3. Redirection is huge! So, I'll admit, I am big on discipline, but not everything needs a spanking. I learned the importance of redirection for my children, but I've also learned the difference between needing to use redirection and discipline. When my children are crying because they can't get their way it's no need to have a debate, young toddlers don't understand why they can't have something, which means you have to explain the reason to them and redirect your children to a "yes" !  
4. Patience! I have none, and the minute I asked God for patience, the more I was tested. I reworked my schedule sometimes to have more patience. As I mentioned before, waking up earlier in the mornings allows for more patience with your children. Same goes for life, preparation is huge in life and decreases a big rush. Preparation is key! 
5.  Pray till you can't pray anymore. I saved this for last but it is the most important. Although I consider myself to be a spiritual person,  prayer was something that I didn't do everyday. Life can get so busy, but prayer is important! Of Course we take our big issues to God but what about the small things. Praying for a good day, praying for your children safety while at school, praying you make good sound decisions. Recently, I've started my days off with prayer and it helps!

**This weekend was my daughter first dance recital, she did so good and loved every bit of it!!

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of CHICMoms (formerly Detroit Moms Rock) and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose!

Being A Mother Doesn't Stop Your Dreams

By: Jessica Byrd

So many times I hear people say that being a mother caused them to put their dreams on hold. My heart drops when I hear this comment. Yes, I know being a mother causes us to not go full speed but to completely stop dreaming just makes me want to cry. I truly believe God is setting me up for a great blessing, and my life will become a testimony to many. So here’s my story.. While I was pregnant with my first child, I worked full time at Chase bank as a personal banker, I hated every minute and moment of my life at the time. Banking is a great career for some, but not for me! This was the first real job I knew I had to keep because I needed good insurance for my child, and a steady income. Everyday I went dressed to work dreading my purpose. I worked until I 9 months with child, I was tired, miserable, and wore out! But at the moment, I sacrificed my happiness for my soon to be daughter. Fast forward my daughter is born, and going back to work full time was not an option for me, I opted to work part time at Chase and it worked out perfect for my schedule.

A year later, I am pregnant with my son, still a personal banker, this time I was able to take some time off sooner than 9 months, due to my bedrest my doctor assigned for me. I was at risk for my pregnancy and my doctor felt my stress from work was having a negative impact on the proper growth of my son. Instead of actually going on bedrest, I used this time to intern two days a week. I was determined when I was pregnant with my son that I was not going back to doing something full time that I literally hated. I was determined to go after my goals, and I was determined it would work out in the end. I interned for no pay, and through the grace of God, he fulfilled all my needs. At the time, I had high hopes of being in the publishing career, and nothing was going to stop me. After my son was born, I left Chase, took another low paying part time job, and still interned for the Michigan Chronicle two days a week. All while having two children under two, I was determined. Yes, I had a huge support system! I let everyone know around me this was my decision and I had to do this for me. I was working events for my internship without pay, eight months pregnant. Yes, there was nights when I felt like I should be home with my children, mommy guilt had the best of me, however having a brighter future was important to me. I knew I had to do this for myself and better yet for my children. I am a strong believer of living a life on purpose!! When my internship ended, I wrote a proposal to my job to hire me, they told me they didn’t have any openings at the time. Therefore, I continued to work my low paying part time job. Exactly two weeks later, my internship called me and hired me as an contractor account executive. During my time as a contractor, I expressed my interest in event planning, and a year later I became a full time employee as the event coordinator for the Michigan Chronicle. My first big event was this month, The Men of Excellence!

This is an abbreviated story, but it shows my determination to succeed. There were many of hopeless nights, especially when I’m struggling, working hard, and my finances were based off of a part time gig.

I know I have a long way to go, and while I am still growing, still learning, and still developing my niche in my career path and surely not rich. I am wealthy by the grace of God, I know he is guiding my steps, and I know my future is bright!

Therefore as a mother never sell yourself short, go after your dreams, make it work for you, and  follow your heart. Yes our children are priority but live your best life possible!!!! Now In my current role, I still have time to spend with my children, I make sure I am at all my children’s activities, and I utilize my weekends for my children. My children are still my priority but I am not giving on myself in the process.

**Mom’s Club summer playdate was this weekend at Heritage Park and we had so much fun!!!!!

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If you’re interested in joining the Moms Club our next meet and greet will be in September so make sure to send me an email.









Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!

    

Social Media and the Fake Reality of Parenting

By: Jessica Byrd

I read an article in this month's Parenting Magazine that talked about how social media shows the fake reality of parenting, allowing parents to sometimes compare and contrast their own parenting skills and even worse, compare their children. I am big on social media, I believe it is an awesome marketing tool, but I hate to say it, I agreed deeply with this article. 

I can vividly remember looking on social media and seeing another mother post a picture of their one year old son in the pool having a blast and I immediately thought. "Man why does my son hate water," at that moment a little bit of mommy guilt arose in me. Social media has made parenting look like a walk in the park, capturing every happy moment in a toddler's life. You see the "perfect" parent that posts their children's healthy meals everyday, showcasing their children almost always acting on their best behavior. News Flash! It's not real! Take a deep breath and take off your superman cape and understand that social media is a place for us all to showcase the "best" of our lives. Which is ok! Personally I don't want to scroll down my timeline and see all negative things but we must learn to separate the two. Social media is not reality. Every mom has those moments when we're too lazy at night to give our children a bath so we wash their face, brush their teeth and send them their way, every mom does not have a gourmet meal for their children every day, we all have problems, we all have rough days but we don't showcase this on social media and again it's ok! 

Parenting is and will always be a demanding job, their is no perfect parent and their is no perfect family. So don't compare your children, don't compare your parenting skills rest assure that every mother has their days!

On the flip slide, social media has become a ploy for some mothers and I, again, admit that I have been guilty of this too. The days our children are dressed like kids in magazines becomes a photo shoot for a toddler, taking away precious moments that we can actually use to spend time with our children. We have to use social media wisely, and be careful not to make it such a priority in our lives! Myself included.   

*This weekend was a relaxed weekend finally!! Yesterday we had friends and family over for a barbecue. To entertain the children hubby brought a bounce house from Toys R Us! This thing was a life saver, the children were well occupied and the parents actually had a moment to eat.. Lol 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 

every mother should live a life on purpose! 

Creator of Metro Detroit Moms Club 

A Mommy Minute