Two Years of Marriage: What I've Learned

-->Today marks my 2^nd wedding anniversary, so it's only right I share my learning experiences. Marriage is not just Instagram and Facebook photos; it is a long-term commitment of forgiveness, compromise, and unconditional love! I'll be the first to admit when I first got married I didn't know all that was in store. I still had a selfish outlook on marriage and wanted everything to be about me; but God quickly showed me that marriage is no longer a ‘me’ attitude. In a two-year time span here’s what I’ve learned (plus much more) about being married, raising children, and finding a sense of self.

1. Every marriage is unique: I can't stress this enough. We tend to idolize someone else marriage forgetting that we’re different people. We are all unique individuals, what works for you may not work for someone else and vice versa. Don't compare your marriage, use that time to invest in your own marriage and work on things that need to change and don't just fuss at your mate, try working on yourself as well!!

2. Above everything, seek the kingdom of God first! This should have been number one because it should be the number one priority in your marriage. God is everything in your marriage—your counselor, your friend, and even someone to vent to. I learned this the hard way in the beginning, I wanted to share all my problems with friends and family and I was so frustrated but I learned that God gives the best advise. The best part is, he doesn't share your problems with anyone. My husband and I just recently started doing bible study together at home and I love it! Marriage is hard, you need God as your backbone! 

3. Your children are important but so is your husband! So again, I admit, I didn't always abide by this! Everything in the beginning was all about my children, I forgot about the other grown child at home (just kidding!) but seriously, men love attention and quality time too. While they might not say anything, believe me, they notice. Make time out for dates, trips etc. I know with children it can be difficult but even if it's enjoying a glass of wine together after you put the children to sleep, or watching a movie, find time to spend together!!!

4. Marriage is not a fairytale it's perseverance. I recently heard a quote from The Pope and it hit me like a ton of bricks! I'm a fairytale girl and I thought life was like the books and the movies. I had no idea about the amount of work I had to put in, in particular within myself. It's easy to put up with yourself but in a relationship, you have to work on things for the betterment of your partner. I surprised myself with my outlook on marriage and God showed me a lot about myself as a wife. Neither one of us is perfect but the one person I need to start with, is myself.

5. Make time for intimacy. Yes, I said it! Intimacy is important and sometimes the most over looked!! Make time to love each other—share a kiss out in public, hold hands while walking down the street. I always joke with my husband when I see a couple holding hands, I say, "Oh, they're in love!" You have committed to be with this person for the rest of your life, don't lose that spark! 

My husband and I celebrated our 2nd year anniversary in Miami! We had a good time! 

 

Jessica M. Byrd is the parent of a two and one year old. 

She is the founder of Metro Detroit Mom's Club and believes 
every mother should live a life on purpose!