Monday, October 26, 2015

She’s Somewhere in the Middle


I think men everywhere have been asked “What do men really want in a woman.” The answers to that question can vary in so many different ways. For some men, it’s all about the looks. For others, intelligence is key. There is no one conclusive answer. What I do think no man will deny is that a key part in the quest for companionship is balance.

I like a woman with class. A woman who can take care of business in the boardroom and still has a favorite song by the Migos. A woman I can take home to Momma that could possibly have some big, gold earrings that spell out her name amongst her jewelry collection. It’s something special about balance. For example, a good blend for me would be “Fancy” from the Jamie Foxx show and “Lavita” from the Steve Harvey show. Fancy was classy and sophisticated yet lacked a little edge. Lavita was ride or die- a bit rough around the edges but she kept it real in way I can appreciate. 
I don’t want to have to worry about the woman I’m with getting into a fight while we’re out but I don’t want her to be a push over either. I don’t really get into the snooty type that are too good to talk to people but I also would not like it if she was too friendlyI know the importance of being equally yoked with a woman and I know how important sharing a spiritual identity can be when building a long term relationship but I still tend to not date church girls. Why? It’s all comes down to one thing- balance. 

In my personal experienceTypically, women are less interested in sports than men. I am a football fan. I don’t need the woman that I’m with to be Michele Tafoya. However, there is something very attractive about a woman who can throw out a statistic about her favorite player in the middle of a game. If your man is a LeBron James fan just mention how LeBron was the first person to lead the NBA finals in Points, Rebounds and Assists. It may seem small to you and you may not even know what it means but your man will be… very intrigued.

Again, I know the importance of being equally yoked with a woman. I know how important sharing a spiritual identity can be when building a long term relationship but I still tend to not date the overly churched girls. Why? It’s all comes down to one thing- balance. In my personal experience, it can be too much. If I can’t have a regular conversation without you quoting a bible verse, it won’t work. If you have to say “blessed and highly favored” every time a person asks how you’re doing, it won’t work. You love the Lord. Great, I do too. That does not mean that is all I want to talk about.
All in all, my point is that it is all about balance- this applies to men too. Relationships are about sacrifice and flexibility. We all have that dream man or woman and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, just understand there is no one that’s going to be that person fully. I think that as long as you’re willing to adjust (within reason) to what it is the person you’re interested in likes, things might go a bit further. Don’t be all of one thing. Diversify you’re interest. Balance it out! #MENtalNotes

Jerel Duren
IG: @jerelduren





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